STOP WAISTING Your Time & Look For These RED FLAGS In A Relationship! | Lily Collins & Jay Shetty

Last updated: Jun 1, 2023

The video is about Lily Collins and Jay Shetty discussing red flags in relationships and how to learn from past toxic relationships.

The video features Lily Collins and Jay Shetty discussing red flags in relationships and how to avoid wasting time in toxic relationships. They discuss past relationships and how to learn from them, even if they were difficult or abusive. Collins shares her personal experience of being in an emotionally abusive relationship and how she was able to find meaning and lessons from it. She encourages others to not be ashamed of their experiences and to use them as opportunities for growth and learning. They also discuss the importance of setting boundaries and not tolerating certain behaviors in any type of relationship.

  • Lily Collins reflects on her past toxic relationship and how she learned from it.
  • Self-reflection is important in learning from past toxic relationships.
  • Recognizing red flags in a relationship is crucial.
  • Feeling stuck in a toxic relationship can affect self-esteem.
  • It's important to recognize when to move on from a toxic relationship.
  • Writing and rebuilding relationships can be a part of the healing process.
  • Lily Collins shares her personal experience of being in a toxic relationship.
  • Differences between toxic and real relationships are discussed.
  • Feeling heard is important in a relationship.

STOP WAISTING Your Time & Look For These RED FLAGS In A Relationship! | Lily Collins & Jay Shetty - YouTube

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Learning from Toxic Relationships

  • Lily Collins talks about her past toxic relationship.
  • She was shushed and quieted, which took away her identity.
  • She reflects on how she was able to find meaning and lessons in her past relationships.
  • She was introspective and reflective, always trying to see the good even in the bad.
  • She didn't see the emotional abuse in the moment, but she knew certain things weren't right.
  • She felt small, quieted, and belittled, but she didn't know how to get out of the relationship.
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Lessons Learned

  • Lily Collins learned how she doesn't want to be treated and what she doesn't want from a partner.
  • She learned how to become stronger and not shame herself for not leaving earlier.
  • She kept an open mind even when it was the hardest.
  • She knew there would be a more positive outcome in the end.
  • She defined how she moved forward and the future she set for herself.
  • She learned that there are certain ways in which a person acts that she will never tolerate.
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Positive Outcome

  • Lily Collins is grateful for the experiences that she had within herself.
  • She sat within her own head and heart and said enough is enough.
  • She defined the future that she was setting for herself.
  • She knows that no one should tolerate certain behaviors, not just in romantic relationships but also in work environments and everyday living.
  • She encourages anyone who has gone through something like that or is going through something like that to not allow the embarrassment or shame to prevent them from learning and growing through it.
  • She learned so much from her past toxic relationship and is now a stronger person because of it.
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STOP WAISTING Your Time & Look For These RED FLAGS In A Relationship! | Lily Collins & Jay Shetty - YouTube

Importance of Self-Reflection

  • Self-reflection is important in learning from past toxic relationships.
  • It's important to see the good even in the bad and keep an open mind.
  • Shame and regret prevent us from embracing any learning through what we would have gone through.
  • Difficult experiences can help us learn and grow.
  • It's important to define how we move forward and the future we set for ourselves.
  • We should not blame ourselves and know that we did everything we could.
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Recognizing Red Flags in a Relationship

  • Shame can prevent someone from speaking up about toxic relationships.
  • It's important to raise the volume on your voice and speak openly about your experiences.
  • Many people feel stuck in toxic relationships and struggle to move on.
  • It's important to recognize red flags in a relationship, such as feeling like you're losing touch with friends and family.
  • When someone takes advantage of your journey of self-discovery, it can be difficult to move on.
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The Impact on Self-Esteem

  • Putting too much self-worth in a person can lead to losing touch with friends and family.
  • Feeling stuck in a toxic relationship can affect self-esteem.
  • It's important to listen to your body and recognize signs of stress, such as panic attacks and bad skin.
  • It can be scary to move on from a toxic relationship and figure out who you are without that person.
  • Rebuilding relationships with friends and family can be a part of the healing process.
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Recognizing When to Move On

  • It's important to recognize when someone is showing you who they really are.
  • Justifying someone's behavior can prevent you from moving on.
  • It's important to pay attention to how you feel, not just what someone is saying to you.
  • Moving on from a toxic relationship is not easy, but it's possible.
  • Starting over and rebuilding relationships can be a part of the healing process.
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The Healing Process

  • Writing can be a form of healing after a toxic relationship.
  • Rebuilding relationships with friends and family is a part of the healing process.
  • It's important to recognize and acknowledge growth after a toxic relationship.
  • Gratitude for the people who supported you during the healing process is important.
  • Healing is a journey and it's important to be patient with yourself.
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Sharing Personal Experiences

  • Lily Collins shares her personal experience of being in a toxic relationship.
  • She explains how it affected her self-esteem and her search for a partner.
  • She felt alone and didn't talk about it with people who didn't understand.
  • Writing her book was a way to connect with others who had gone through similar experiences.
  • Sharing stories with others made her feel less alone.
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Differences Between Toxic and Real Relationships

  • Lily Collins explains how her toxic relationship made her physically ill and anxious.
  • She felt small and lost her sense of identity.
  • Getting out of the toxic relationship allowed her to grow and become a bigger version of herself.
  • In her current relationship, there are ups and downs, but there is no competition or negativity.
  • Her fiancĂ© encourages her to be the biggest version of herself and they have conversations where they both feel heard.
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Spotting Red Flags in Relationships

  • Jay Shetty asks how people can spot the right things in a relationship.
  • Lily Collins explains that there will always be ups and downs in any relationship.
  • In her toxic relationship, her body was reacting and she felt physically ill.
  • There was competition and negativity, and she was shushed and made to feel small.
  • In a real relationship, there is no competition or negativity, and both partners feel heard.
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The Importance of Feeling Heard

  • Lily Collins emphasizes the importance of feeling heard in a relationship.
  • In her toxic relationship, she felt like her partner wasn't hearing her.
  • In her current relationship, she feels heard and understood.
  • Feeling heard allows for disagreements to be resolved through conversation.
  • It's important to understand the intention and the deepest place that a conversation is coming from.
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Red Flags in Relationships

  • Statements like "no one will ever love you like I do" can be used as a tool to draw you in and imprison you.
  • Feeling trapped by someone who is supposed to be your biggest champion is a problem.
  • Being told to be quiet is a red flag and a scary thing.
  • Post-traumatic stress can arise from past toxic relationships and affect future relationships.
  • It's important to check yourself in moments of anxiety and remember that the situation is not the same as the past.
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Dealing with Trauma in Relationships

  • It takes time to heal from past toxic relationships.
  • It's important to internalize and think through your feelings in moments of anxiety.
  • Therapy, podcasts, and reading can be helpful in dealing with trauma.
  • It's important to remember that the past is gone and not let it affect current relationships.
  • Having a partner who nurtures and supports you through moments of anxiety is important.
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Everyone Has the Potential to Shine

  • It's easy to be made small in relationships, not just romantic ones.
  • Sharing stories of trauma and healing can inspire others to do the same.
  • Being in a position of power or in the entertainment industry does not make someone immune to trauma.
  • No one is infallible and everyone goes through difficult experiences.
  • It's important to squash the myth that some people have it all figured out or are perfect.
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Red Flags in Relationships

  • Material possessions do not shield people from emotional pain.
  • Money and fame do not make people immune to feeling small or insignificant.
  • It is important to recognize and address red flags in relationships.
  • Red flags can include controlling behavior, lack of respect, and dishonesty.
  • It is important to prioritize self-care and set boundaries in relationships.
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Acting as Meditation

  • Acting can be a form of meditation and stillness.
  • Acting allows for introspection and reflection.
  • As a storyteller, acting allows for the facilitation of escapism for others.
  • Researching a character can teach actors about themselves.
  • The process of filming can be more important than the end result.
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Finding Stillness in Acting

  • Acting can provide moments of deep stillness and presence.
  • These moments can come from a place of knowing and stillness.
  • Acting can help with anxiety and worry by focusing on the present moment.
  • Acting can provide a sense of disappearing into the moment.
  • Acting can provide a sense of magic and gifts from moments of being present.
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