The Secret to Making Powerful Friends | Jordan Harbinger on Impact Theory

The video is an interview with Jordan Harbinger, a former Wall Street lawyer who co-founded a podcast and Academy called the Art of Charm, and discusses his success in social dynamics and making powerful friends.

The video is an interview with Jordan Harbinger, a former Wall Street lawyer who co-founded a podcast and Academy called The Art of Charm. He speaks about deliberate practice, cultivating strengths and weaknesses, and his experiences giving tours in North Korea and being a former phone hacker. Harbinger also discusses his interest in learning about things that people try to keep secret and his decision to pursue a life of meaning instead of chasing money. He has become one of the most sought-after speakers and coaches in the world, with his work being presented at Silicon Valley mega-companies such as Google, Apple, Twitter, and Square.

• Jordan Harbinger left his job as a Wall Street lawyer to pursue a life of meaning.
• Deliberate practice involves breaking down a skill into its component parts and practicing each part until it becomes automatic.
• Harbinger emphasizes the importance of building powerful relationships and networking.
• Harbinger has a rebellious streak and is interested in learning about things that people are trying to keep secret.
• Jordan Harbinger's focus on networking and maintaining relationships allowed him to build a powerful network.
• Jordan Harbinger learned the importance of networking and maintaining relationships from a partner who worked from home.
• Jordan Harbinger started teaching social dynamics on the side and eventually discovered podcasting.
• They charged for coaching and realized there was real money in it.
• Jordan Harbinger used tactics and techniques to overcome his shyness.

The Secret to Making Powerful Friends | Jordan Harbinger on Impact Theory - YouTube

Introduction and Background

• The interview is with Jordan Harbinger, co-founder of the Art of Charm podcast and Academy.
• Harbinger left his job as a Wall Street lawyer to pursue a life of meaning.
• He has built a seven-figure business and one of the most dominant podcasts on iTunes.
• Harbinger speaks five languages, including Mandarin Chinese and Serbian.
• He has given talks on security, social engineering, and psychology at places such as Blackhat and Harvard Business School.

Deliberate Practice

• Harbinger emphasizes the importance of deliberate practice.
• People should focus on deliberately practicing their weaknesses and making them as strong as possible.
• At the same time, they should practice their strengths and make those the top of their performance.
• Most people are too lazy to do this and either want to practice everything or don't want to figure out which piece is the most important.
• Deliberate practice involves breaking down a skill into its component parts and practicing each part until it becomes automatic.

Building Powerful Relationships

• Harbinger has created a playbook on social dynamics that has made him one of the most sought-after speakers and coaches in the world.
• His work has been presented in Silicon Valley at mega-companies such as Google, Apple, Twitter, and Square.
• Forbes named him one of the 50 best relationship builders anywhere.
• Harbinger's company and interests have led him to study some of the most successful people in the world.
• He emphasizes the importance of building powerful relationships and networking.

The Secret to Making Powerful Friends | Jordan Harbinger on Impact Theory - YouTube

Rebellious Streak and Pursuit of Knowledge

• Harbinger has a rebellious streak and is interested in learning about things that people are trying to keep secret.
• As a child, he was a phone hacker and listened to people's phone calls when he was 13.
• Harbinger is more interested in learning why people are trying to keep something a secret than in breaking the rule itself.
• He left his job as a Wall Street lawyer to pursue a life of meaning and cultivate his pursuit of knowledge.
• Harbinger started the Art of Charm podcast and Academy in 2006, which was beyond counterintuitive at the time.

Background and Motivation

• Jordan Harbinger's competitive advantage in college was outworking everyone else.
• When he got to Wall Street, he realized that everyone was already hardworking and smart.
• He wanted to make himself smarter in a short timeframe to avoid getting fired due to imposter syndrome.
• He discovered the importance of networking and maintaining relationships from a partner who worked from home.
• He decided to focus on developing this skill set to make himself valuable and stay at the top of the game.

Teaching Social Dynamics

• Jordan Harbinger started teaching social dynamics on the side after mastering the skill set.
• He burned his conversations to CDs and distributed them to people who wanted to learn.
• He eventually discovered podcasting and started uploading his conversations to a server.
• He realized that there was a niche community of people who knew about podcasting and started building an audience.
• He initially thought it was just a hobby, but eventually realized that there was a real audience and potential for a business.

Building Powerful Relationships

• Jordan Harbinger's focus on networking and maintaining relationships allowed him to build a powerful network.
• He never waited in line at a bar and never paid for food or drinks because he always knew someone.
• He burned his conversations to CDs and distributed them to people who wanted to learn.
• He eventually discovered podcasting and started uploading his conversations to a server.
• He realized that there was a niche community of people who knew about podcasting and started building an audience.
• He initially thought it was just a hobby, but eventually realized that there was a real audience and potential for a business.

Lessons Learned

• Jordan Harbinger learned the importance of networking and maintaining relationships from a partner who worked from home.
• He focused on developing this skill set to make himself valuable and stay at the top of the game.
• He started teaching social dynamics on the side and eventually discovered podcasting.
• He built a powerful network and realized the potential for a business.
• He learned that there was a niche community of people who knew about podcasting and started building an audience.
• He realized that there was a real audience and potential for a business.

Starting the Podcast

• Jordan Harbinger was invited to talk about someone else's book on Sirius XM satellite radio.
• He was asked to talk about body language, persuasion, influence, and networking.
• The station manager listened to their podcast and gave them their own show on Sirius XM satellite radio.
• They did not start thinking about it as a business until people started writing in and asking for coaching.
• They charged for coaching and realized there was real money in it.

Business Hobbies Shift

• People started writing in and asking for coaching.
• They charged for coaching and realized there was real money in it.
• They had their first training client who paid to live with them for a week.
• They realized that if people were willing to pay for coaching, it could be a business.
• The business was driven by the demand for the service and the coaching and knowledge.

Overcoming Shyness

• Jordan Harbinger was painfully shy growing up.
• He used tactics and techniques to get out of it.
• He felt like he was faking it at first, but people started treating him differently.
• He realized that his self-esteem was matching up with the way people were perceiving him.
• He had a core level identity shift into who he was and started to become more confident.

The Doorway Principle

• The Doorway Principle fixes body language to create a positive first impression.
• First impressions are made non-verbally.
• The Doorway Drill is potent because it resets body language to create a positive first impression.
• Practice the Doorway Drill every time you walk through a doorway.
• Stick post-it notes at eye level in the doorframe to remind you to practice the Doorway Drill.

Creating Powerful Friends

• Creating powerful friends is about building relationships.
• Building relationships is about giving value to others.
• Be interested in others and ask them questions.
• Find common ground and build rapport.
• Be authentic and genuine.

The Importance of Body Language

• Body language is a powerful tool in communication.
• Non-verbal communication makes up a significant portion of communication.
• Body language can influence how others perceive us.
• Positive body language can create a positive first impression.
• Practice positive body language to make it a subconscious habit.

The Power of Networking

• Networking is about building relationships and creating opportunities.
• Networking is not just about meeting people, but also about following up and maintaining relationships.
• Networking is about giving value to others and building trust.
• Networking can lead to new opportunities and collaborations.
• Networking requires effort and persistence.

Deliberate Practice

• Revision and review are important for learning.
• Deliberately practice weaknesses to make them stronger.
• Practice strengths to improve performance.
• Most people are too lazy to practice deliberately.
• People overlook the importance of deliberate practice.

Learning Languages

• Immersion is the best way to learn a language.
• People who think they're not good at languages may have learned in a bad environment.
• Learning a language in school doesn't necessarily mean you're bad at it.
• Learning a language in a different environment can make a big difference.
• Humans learn language through immersion.

Importance of Coaching

• Coaching is important for learning anything.
• Find a coach to take you to the next level.
• Even if you can't find a coach, keep looking.
• Find a coach early to avoid unlearning bad habits.
• Stalk someone to be your coach if necessary.

Watch the video on YouTube:
The Secret to Making Powerful Friends | Jordan Harbinger on Impact Theory - YouTube