Taylor Tomlinson ON: The Quarter-Life Crisis & How to Let Go of Toxic Relationships

The video is an interview with comedian Taylor Tomlinson about her career, her experiences with the quarter-life crisis, and how to let go of toxic relationships.

The video is an episode of the podcast "On Purpose" featuring comedian Taylor Tomlinson as the guest. The host, Jay Shetty, introduces Taylor and discusses her career in comedy, including her Netflix specials and being named one of Forbes' 30 under 30. They also discuss Taylor's journey and experiences with the quarter-life crisis and toxic relationships. The conversation is lighthearted and humorous, but also touches on deeper topics related to personal growth and self-improvement.

• The video is an interview with comedian Taylor Tomlinson about her career, quarter-life crisis, and letting go of toxic relationships.
• Taylor started performing comedy at 16 and has achieved a lot of success in the industry.
• Taylor's comedy is relatable and focuses on topics like love, relationships, and the quarter-life crisis.
• Taylor talks about the importance of setting boundaries and not letting toxic people into your life.
• Taylor's parents forced her to attend a public speaking and drama class when she was 11 years old.
• Taylor experienced a quarter-life crisis in her mid-20s and had to let go of toxic relationships to move forward.
• Stand-up comedy requires overcoming fears and building confidence.
• Tomlinson gained confidence from living as a monk and studying the wisdom of the Vedas.
• Stand-up comedy helped Tomlinson become more true to herself out in the world.

Taylor Tomlinson ON: The Quarter-Life Crisis & How to Let Go of Toxic Relationships - YouTube

Introduction

• The video is an interview with comedian Taylor Tomlinson about her career, her experiences with the quarter-life crisis, and how to let go of toxic relationships.
• The host is excited to have Taylor on the show and is a big fan of her work.
• Taylor has been performing comedy since she was 16 and has achieved a lot of success in the industry.

Taylor's Journey

• Taylor started performing comedy at 16 after her father signed her up for a stand-up class.
• She became a top 10 finalist on the ninth season of NBC's Last Comic Standing in 2015.
• She was named one of the top 10 comics to watch by Variety at the 2019 Just for Laughs Festival.
• Her first Netflix stand-up special, Quarter Life Crisis, premiered in March 2020.
• In 2021, she started her own podcast called Sad in the City.
• She was placed on the Forbes 30 Under 30 list in the same year.

Taylor's Comedy Style

• Taylor's comedy is relatable and focuses on topics like love, relationships, and the quarter-life crisis.
• She is able to get inside people's minds and help them navigate difficult situations.
• She is able to make people laugh while also teaching them valuable lessons.
• Her second Netflix special, Look at You, is now streaming on Netflix.
• She will be performing at the LA Netflix Comedy Festival show at the Ace Theatre on May 6, 2022.

Taylor Tomlinson ON: The Quarter-Life Crisis & How to Let Go of Toxic Relationships - YouTube

Letting Go of Toxic Relationships

• Taylor talks about how she had to let go of toxic relationships in her life.
• She realized that these relationships were holding her back and preventing her from achieving her goals.
• She talks about the importance of setting boundaries and not letting toxic people into your life.
• She also talks about the importance of self-care and taking care of yourself first.
• She encourages people to surround themselves with positive, supportive people who will lift them up.

Comedian Taylor Tomlinson's Career Journey

• Taylor's father signed her up for a stand-up class after a woman at their church expressed interest in it.
• She fell into comedy unintentionally and didn't get into it super intentionally.
• Taylor has been doing comedy for 12 years, not just the five years she's been doing it online.
• She feels self-conscious about her success at a young age and thinks people assume it's been easy for her.
• Taylor has had a non-traditional journey in comedy, doing everything from corporates and colleges to cruise ships and churches.

The Impact of Parents on Taylor's Career

• Taylor's parents forced her to attend a public speaking and drama class when she was 11 years old because they thought she was too shy.
• They signed her up for the London Academy of Music Drama and Arts and begged the school to allow her in because they missed the sign-up date.
• Taylor looks back and realizes her parents made an amazing decision that impacted her whole life.

The Unconventional Path to Comedy

• Taylor's after-service conversation with a woman at church about a stand-up class is an unconventional origin story for a comedian.
• There is a comedy church circuit, but Taylor did not choose to go down that path.
• There are many different ways to do stand-up professionally, including cruise ships, corporates, and colleges.
• Taylor has experienced a lot of different pockets of the industry and done everything from bars to strange shows in backyards.
• It's important for people to know that there are many different paths to success in the creative industry.

The Quarter-Life Crisis and Letting Go of Toxic Relationships

• Taylor experienced a quarter-life crisis in her mid-20s and felt like she was behind in life.
• She realized that everyone has their own timeline and that success is not a straight line.
• Taylor had to let go of toxic relationships in order to move forward in her life and career.
• She learned that it's okay to outgrow people and that it's important to surround yourself with people who support and uplift you.
• Taylor advises people to take time to figure out who they are and what they want before getting into a serious relationship.

Overcoming Fears in Stand-Up Comedy

• Stand-up comedy requires overcoming fears of what people will think, how you will look, and how you will be received.
• Comedians face the challenge of introducing themselves as someone who will make people laugh and meet high expectations.
• Tomlinson was terrified when she first started doing stand-up comedy.
• She felt physically sick for days before going on stage.
• Tomlinson loved stand-up comedy so much that she wanted to do it more than she was scared to do it.

Being Shy and Building Confidence

• Tomlinson was massively shy when she was younger.
• She went to public speaking and drama school from 11 to 18, which gave her the skills but not the confidence.
• Tomlinson gained confidence from living as a monk and studying the wisdom of the Vedas.
• She has more faith and confidence in the ideas she shares than in herself.
• Tomlinson is still shy on a base level and an introvert, but she feels confident when she has a role to play.

Stand-Up Comedy as a Tool for Personal Growth

• Tomlinson always liked performing, but she found her true self on stage doing stand-up comedy.
• When she first started doing stand-up comedy, Tomlinson felt like the version of herself on stage was who she wanted to be in life all the time.
• Stand-up comedy helped Tomlinson become more true to herself out in the world.
• Tomlinson is now in a weird place where she questions if the version of herself on stage is the purest or most polished version of herself.
• Stand-up comedy is a muscle that gets easier with practice.

Dealing with Performance Anxiety

• Tomlinson felt physically sick for days before going on stage when she first started doing stand-up comedy.
• She pushed through the anxiety because she loved stand-up comedy so much.
• Doing multiple spots a night took pressure off and made her less nervous.
• Performing is a muscle that gets easier with practice.
• Tomlinson still gets nervous before big shows, but she has learned to channel that energy into her performance.

Starting out in comedy

• First time back on stage after lockdown was terrifying.
• Consistency and knowing you can do the job builds confidence.
• Talking about not having wisdom or experience resonated with people.
• Quarter-life crisis is a common experience.
• Validation from audience feedback makes it easier to talk about personal struggles.

Writing about personal experiences

• Special called Quarter-Life Crisis resonates with people.
• Writing about personal struggles with mental health and losing a parent.
• Validation from audience feedback makes it easier to talk about personal struggles.
• Writing about things you want to talk about and finding others who relate.
• Not everyone will relate, but those who do appreciate it.

Transitioning to comedy from college

• Booked enough work to physically not be able to attend college.
• Booking 50 colleges in winter and spring made it impossible to attend college.
• Told herself she could go back to college for years.
• First Netflix special made her realize she didn't have to go back to college.
• Pandemic made her consider going back to college.

Dealing with feeling stuck in career

• Quarter-life crisis is a common experience.
• Validation from audience feedback makes it easier to talk about personal struggles.
• Transitioning to something you enjoy and love can be scary.
• Booking enough work can make it easier to make the transition.
• Believing in yourself and your abilities is key to making the transition.

Transitioning from Clean Comedy

• Moving away from being a clean comedian was difficult.
• Transitioning from performing exclusively in churches was challenging.
• Internalized shame came with the transition.
• Feeling inexperienced for the rock and roll stand-up world was a struggle.
• Quarter-life crisis made it hard to balance being clean and respectable while also being fun.

Being Happy with One Area of Life

• Friends advised being happy with one area of life going great.
• Trust that other areas will catch up or focus on other areas instead.
• It's a strange time in your life.
• People have an idea that everything should line up by a certain age.
• Going backwards isn't as taboo as we make it out to be.

Making Pivots in Career

• Friends in quarter-life crisis are making pivots in their careers.
• Some are going back to school or changing industries.
• Going backwards to re-navigate and reconfigure is necessary.
• Accelerated progress in one area of life doesn't mean everything else has to move at the same pace.
• Switching careers can be scary but it's important to trust the process.

Letting Go of Toxic Relationships

• Letting go of toxic relationships is important for personal growth.
• It's hard to let go of people who have been in your life for a long time.
• Recognizing patterns in toxic relationships is crucial.
• Setting boundaries and communicating them is necessary.
• It's okay to outgrow people and move on.

Overcoming Shame and Guilt

• The speaker wanted to share what she had learned in a non-sectarian and universal way.
• She wanted to share her work with anyone and everyone without any pressure to have a spiritual or religious belief.
• Sharing her work in this way came with certain levels of criticism and judgment.
• The speaker got over the shame and guilt by going to therapy.
• She also had the confidence to break through and continue doing what she wanted to do.

Moving Past Shame and Making a Pivot

• The speaker drew a comparison between her work and the pivot she made in her career.
• She said that she had a lot of therapy to help her move past the shame.
• The speaker also talked about the importance of having the confidence to make a pivot.
• She said that it's okay to go back to what you were doing before if things don't work out.
• The speaker wanted to talk about more difficult subjects and do jokes about sex.

The Expectations of Church Comedy

• The expectations are rigid in church comedy and any sort of church situation.
• They want you to be what they expect you to be all the time.
• It's not enough to just be a clean comedian for an hour.
• They want you to be a Christian all the time and a role model and a perfect public figure.
• The speaker didn't want to feel like she had to be perfect all the time.

Beliefs About Religion

• The speaker didn't believe in Christianity.
• She felt that way since she was a kid.
• Her mom passed away when she was eight, and something shifted in her.
• She realized that nobody knew for sure what happens as far as religion goes.
• While she feels open to the possibility of something greater, she knows that she will never figure it out for sure.

Challenges in Comedy

• Taylor Tomlinson struggled with being clean in her comedy.
• She felt like she was lying to anyone who hired her in that space.
• She got taken off of a show for something she tweeted that had innuendo in it.
• She couldn't do shows for churches because of her content.
• She believes that there is an audience for everyone and it's okay if you're not right for a certain role.

Impact of Losing a Parent

• Taylor Tomlinson lost her mother at eight years old.
• She spent a long time with therapy and reflection and being on a journey with that.
• It made a lot of things much more difficult and made her very anxious.
• It made her more empathetic and a hard worker.
• She retreated into her imagination because she had to, which made her more creative.

Quarter-Life Crisis

• Taylor Tomlinson experienced a quarter-life crisis in her early twenties.
• She felt like she was behind in life and not where she was supposed to be.
• She realized that everyone has their own timeline and there's no right way to do things.
• She learned to focus on her own journey and not compare herself to others.
• She believes that it's important to take time to figure out what you want and what makes you happy.

Letting Go of Toxic Relationships

• Taylor Tomlinson had to let go of toxic relationships in her life.
• She realized that she was putting in more effort than the other person and it wasn't worth it.
• She learned to set boundaries and not let people take advantage of her.
• She believes that it's important to surround yourself with people who support and uplift you.
• She learned that it's okay to let go of people who don't bring positivity into your life.

Dealing with Loss and Grief

• Taylor Tomlinson shares her experience with loss and grief.
• It was difficult for her to talk about it when she was younger.
• She had to rehearse how to tell people about it in a palatable way.
• It's important to understand someone's story and connect with them properly.
• Sharing her experience is inspiring and hope-giving.

Relationships and Cheating

• Taylor Tomlinson's clip about her boyfriend cheating on her resonates with many people.
• She talks about her personal value around cheating and how it impacts her relationships.
• She doesn't judge others for their personal choices.
• She shares a personal story about a dream she had about her wife cheating on her with Future.
• It made her realize how much she loves her wife and how important their relationship is to her.

The Importance of Intimacy in Relationships

• Taylor Tomlinson and her wife have a habit of taking trips every 30 days to spend time together.
• They lock their phones in a safe and focus on deepening their connection.
• They listen to music and watch movies together.
• It's important to make time for intimacy in relationships.
• Without it, you may not truly know your partner.

Letting Go of Toxic Relationships

• Taylor Tomlinson talks about the importance of letting go of toxic relationships.
• It's difficult to do, but necessary for personal growth.
• She shares a personal story about a toxic friendship she had to end.
• It's important to set boundaries and prioritize your own well-being.
• Letting go of toxic relationships can be liberating and lead to positive change.

Watch the video on YouTube:
Taylor Tomlinson ON: The Quarter-Life Crisis & How to Let Go of Toxic Relationships - YouTube