THIS Is How You Overcome Failure and Launch Yourself to Success | Tom Bilyeu Q&A

Last updated: Jun 1, 2023

The video is about how to overcome failure and maintain enthusiasm in the long term, using the example of Jaco Willink's philosophy of reacting positively to negative events.

The video is a Q&A session with Tom Bilyeu, discussing how to overcome failure and achieve success. Bilyeu emphasizes the importance of learning from failure and using it to improve one's skills and ultimately build the life they want. He also discusses the idea of flipping the switch in one's mind to view setbacks as opportunities for growth, and compares failure to artificial intelligence learning through trial and error. Bilyeu also shares personal experiences from his own 20s and how he struggled with insecurity and frustration, but ultimately learned to recontextualize his world and view failure as a necessary part of the journey towards success.

  • People who leverage failure to learn and improve build the life they want to lead.
  • React positively to negative events and focus on what you can do differently.
  • Recognize that success is going from failure to failure without a loss of enthusiasm.
  • Change your frame of reference to stoke yourself up and get incrementally better.
  • Interrupt negative patterns to avoid wasting time and feeling unproductive.
  • Embrace failure as part of the process to learn from mistakes and build resilience.
  • Maintain enthusiasm in the long term with a growth mindset, goals, positive people, gratitude, and purpose.
  • Understand the physics of the human mind and use techniques like cognitive behavioral therapy to widen the gap between stimulus and response.
  • Overcoming disappointment requires shifting the limiting belief that failure is bad and regaining resilience.

THIS Is How You Overcome Failure and Launch Yourself to Success | Tom Bilyeu Q&A - YouTube

THIS Is How You Overcome Failure and Launch Yourself to Success | Tom Bilyeu Q&A 001

Introduction

  • The video is about how to overcome failure and maintain enthusiasm in the long term.
  • People who can leverage failure to learn and improve their skill set are the ones who ultimately build the life they want to lead.
  • Those who are emotionally devastated by failure end up in a death loop and never go anywhere.
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Question 1: Bouncing Back from Failure

  • A person lost almost everything in a short span of time and felt broken and depressed.
  • They held on to the thought that they would get through it.
  • The depression is gone, but they feel a profound sense of negativity and failure.
  • They want to know how to overcome failure in the long term and maintain enthusiasm.
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Jaco Willink's Philosophy

  • Jaco Willink's idea is that no matter what life throws at you, the reaction is good.
  • When you flip the switch in your mind, you can react positively to negative events.
  • You have to come up with a reason why it's good.
  • The only way to think about failure is like AI - it's not called failure, it's called a sample.
  • AI tries something, and if it doesn't work, it tries something else until it finds the most efficient path.
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THIS Is How You Overcome Failure and Launch Yourself to Success | Tom Bilyeu Q&A - YouTube

Going from Failure to Failure Without a Loss of Enthusiasm

  • In your 20s, it's normal to feel lost, frustrated, afraid, insecure, overwhelmed, and paralyzed.
  • The internet barely existed, and there wasn't content to help recontextualize the world.
  • Knowing the quote that success is going from failure to failure without a loss of enthusiasm is a good start.
  • Opening yourself up to being hurt is a vulnerable state, but it's necessary for growth.
  • When heartbreak comes along, it's tempting to turtle up and protect yourself, but then you're closed off from the things that make life worth living.
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Reacting to Failure

  • React positively to negative events.
  • Look exclusively at what you can do differently.
  • Recognize that success is going from failure to failure without a loss of enthusiasm.
  • Allow yourself to be vulnerable again.
  • Recognize that failure is good because it reveals the flaw in your strategy.
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Improving Your Strategy

  • Figure out what you could have done differently.
  • See what you can improve in your skill set.
  • Recognize that whenever a strategy yields a result different than the desired result, the strategy is by definition wrong.
  • Own that your strategy wasn't working.
  • Get a different result next time.
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Changing Your Frame of Reference

  • Change the question that you ask about failure.
  • Ask how did this help me, what did I learn from this, or what could I learn from this.
  • Recognize that the worst thing that ever happened to you is actually the best thing that ever happened to you.
  • Change the frame of reference to stoke yourself up.
  • Get incrementally better and try again.
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Overcoming Disappointment

  • Shift the limiting belief that failure is bad.
  • Recognize that failure is an opportunity to learn.
  • Regain your resilience by slowly but surely overcoming disappointment.
  • Understand how your own mind works and the nature of the world.
  • Flounder around, make horrendous mistakes, and say goodbye to move forward.
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Understanding the Physics of the Human Mind

  • Our brain reacts a certain way to negative events, but we can change our approach and framing to react positively.
  • Victor Frankl's philosophy of finding meaning in suffering can help us endure difficult situations.
  • Shortening the window of emotional distress by learning to emotionally soothe ourselves quickly is important.
  • Widening the gap between stimulus and response is possible with cognitive behavioral therapy.
  • Pattern interrupting is a key concept in cognitive behavioral therapy.
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Interrupting Negative Patterns

  • Interrupting negative patterns can help us avoid wasting time and feeling unproductive.
  • One example of pattern interrupting is not allowing ourselves to feel overwhelmed.
  • Reminding ourselves of a phrase like "I don't do overwhelm" can interrupt the pattern of escalation.
  • Physiological techniques like diaphragmatic breathing can also help interrupt negative patterns.
  • Interrupting negative patterns can help us change our thinking and approach to negative events.
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Embracing Failure as Part of the Process

  • Failure is a necessary part of the process of success.
  • Artificial intelligence needs samples of failure to learn and improve, and so do we.
  • Embracing failure can help us learn from our mistakes and improve our approach.
  • Failure can also help us build resilience and mental toughness.
  • Changing our mindset about failure can help us maintain enthusiasm in the long term.
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Maintaining Enthusiasm in the Long Term

  • Maintaining enthusiasm in the long term requires a growth mindset and a willingness to learn and improve.
  • Setting goals and tracking progress can help us stay motivated and focused.
  • Surrounding ourselves with positive and supportive people can also help us maintain enthusiasm.
  • Practicing gratitude and focusing on the positive aspects of our lives can help us maintain a positive mindset.
  • Remembering our purpose and why we started can also help us maintain enthusiasm in the long term.
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Importance of an Anti-Fragile Personality

  • Identity tied up in learning
  • Pattern interrupt becomes "I'm the learner"
  • Change framing to "What can I learn from this?"
  • Fill gap with "I'm the learner, I'm going to get better from this"
  • Take advantage of Viktor Frankl's gap
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Reframing Failure in Entrepreneurship

  • Spent 7 years putting things aside that won't work
  • Thomas Edison's quote: "I didn't fail 10,000 times, I simply found 10,000 ways that didn't work"
  • Approaching job market in the wrong way
  • Focus on acquiring hard skills
  • Learning a skill takes time and energy
  • Belief that matters: If you put time and energy into learning a skill, you will get better at it
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Value of Failed Startup Experience

  • Seven years ahead of everyone else in terms of learnings
  • May have been a waste of time in terms of acquiring skills for desired job
  • Value lies in treasure trove of learnings
  • Question is how to articulate that value to potential employers
  • Getting good at pitching oneself is a skill
  • Real problem may be how to interview for a job and explain one's skill set
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Approaching Job Market with Entrepreneurial Experience

  • Find the right job to approach
  • Practice articulating one's skill set
  • Arm oneself with how one can help the company
  • Entrepreneurial experience provides an extraordinary skill set
  • Leadership, working with people, creating momentum, starting from scratch, and getting first customer are valuable skills
  • Don't focus on the difficulty, lean into it and get good at it
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