These Are Skills Needed To Earn Respect | Q&A with Tom Bilyeu

Last updated: Jun 1, 2023

The video is about how to earn respect and the importance of getting so good at something that you can't be ignored.

In this video, Tom Bilyeu answers a question about how to command respect from older family members who still see you as a child and don't take you seriously, despite your accomplishments. Bilyeu suggests that instead of trying to command respect, one should focus on earning it by getting so good at something that they can't be ignored. He uses the example of Gary Vaynerchuk, who established himself in a different part of his family's business and achieved extraordinary results, which ultimately earned him respect. Bilyeu also emphasizes the importance of investing energy in the right areas and not giving up power by blaming others for their insecurities.

  • The video is about how to earn respect and the importance of getting so good at something that you can't be ignored.
  • The host takes questions from viewers and gives feedback in real-time.
  • Commanding respect is the wrong way to think about it; you need to earn respect.
  • Getting so good at something that you can't be denied is the key to earning respect.
  • If you can be ignored, the only way out of that is to continue to get better.
  • Two things you can do: up your game or move on.
  • Have confidence in your abilities and don't be afraid to strike out on your own.
  • Competence is the key to earning respect, and skills have utility, so make sure your skill set is superior to others.
  • Don't come to the world with your hand out, and don't act like the world owes you anything.

These Are Skills Needed To Earn Respect | Q&A with Tom Bilyeu - YouTube

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Introduction

  • The video is about how to earn respect and the importance of getting so good at something that you can't be ignored.
  • The host takes questions from viewers and gives feedback in real-time.
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Earning Respect

  • Commanding respect is the wrong way to think about it; you need to earn respect.
  • Getting so good at something that you can't be denied is the key to earning respect.
  • If you can be ignored, the only way out of that is to continue to get better.
  • Two things you can do: up your game or move on.
  • Example of earning respect: Gary Vaynerchuk.
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Upping Your Game

  • Focus on getting so good that you can't be ignored.
  • Use Gary Vaynerchuk as an example of someone who earned respect through results.
  • Keep improving and burying people with results.
  • Invest an insane amount of energy into the place where it makes sense to apply that energy.
  • Don't give up power by blaming others for their insecurities.
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These Are Skills Needed To Earn Respect | Q&A with Tom Bilyeu - YouTube

Moving On

  • If you can't earn respect, moving on may be the only solution.
  • Dealing with insecurities may make it difficult to move on.
  • It's impossible to say with certainty whether you or they need to do something.
  • Make sure you're applying your energy to the place where it makes sense to apply that energy.
  • Don't give up power by blaming others for their insecurities.
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Striking Out on Your Own

  • Have confidence in your abilities.
  • Don't be afraid to strike out on your own.
  • Memory that if you're as good as you think, you should be able to build something new using the same skill set.
  • If you're afraid to do that, it may be a sign that you're not as good as you think.
  • Put in the work to get good at something.
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Commanding Respect

  • Don't take their negativity on board.
  • Don't need their validation.
  • Previous attempts have made the person appear pathetic or arrogant.
  • Recognize that it's a game of skill set.
  • Get so good that you can deliver tangible results for the company.
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Tom Bilyeu's Experience

  • Tom Bilyeu's experience in the beginning of his business career.
  • People questioned him and didn't take him seriously.
  • Put in a lot of time and energy to grow and get to the point where he was adding enough value that he couldn't be denied.
  • Picked the things he wanted to get good at and put in an inhuman amount of effort.
  • Adopted an attitude of helping people and looking beyond his job description.
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Focusing on Skill Acquisition

  • Focus relentlessly on skills.
  • Don't worry about other people, try to help them.
  • Take on way more than your job description.
  • Put time in nights and weekends to learn a skill set that you know will be valuable to the company.
  • Prove that you can get so good that they're better off offering you a piece of the company than losing you to somebody else.
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Skills Needed to Earn Respect

  • Over delivering consistently at a freakish level is key to earning respect.
  • Real demands can be made only after you have achieved a certain level of competence.
  • Competence is the key to earning respect.
  • Respect cannot be given, it must be earned.
  • Confidence comes from competence.
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Tips for Demanding Respect

  • Don't come to the world with your hand out.
  • Don't act like the world owes you anything.
  • Focus on becoming a beast that cannot be stopped.
  • Get so good at something that people can't stop you.
  • Skills have utility, so make sure your skill set is superior to others.
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Importance of Competence

  • Competence is the key to earning respect.
  • Confidence comes from competence.
  • Get good at something that is valuable to earn respect.
  • Respect yourself to earn respect from others.
  • Skills have utility, so make sure your skill set is superior to others.
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Story of Matthew McConaughey

  • Matthew McConaughey was discovered in Texas because he had swagger and the "it" factor.
  • Don't come to the world with your hand out.
  • Get so good at something that people can't stop you.
  • Skills have utility, so make sure your skill set is superior to others.
  • Confidence comes from competence.
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Importance of Skill Set

  • Investing in skill set is key to earning respect.
  • Stop wanting other people's respect and focus on developing skills.
  • People will respect you when you become really good at something.
  • Be kind to people and extend respect to those who have earned it.
  • Don't be cold or cruel even when people are being that way to you.
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Kindness and Respect

  • Being mean may get you a change in behavior, but it doesn't earn respect.
  • Kindness is how you build teams and connections.
  • Helping, celebrating, and cheering for others is an effective way to gain respect.
  • You can still be intense and hold people accountable while being kind.
  • Looking for ways to help others and being kind is worth its weight in gold.
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Being Good and Kind

  • You won't earn respect until you're actually good at something.
  • Being the best on the team and being kind to the worst player is not the right way to think about it.
  • You need to hold the worst player accountable, but also find ways to create harmony.
  • Michael Jordan had to learn to play as a team to win championships.
  • Being good to the point where people can rely on you and pushing others to achieve greatness can be done without sacrificing kindness.
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Conclusion

  • Investing in skill set is key to earning respect.
  • Kindness is how you build teams and connections.
  • Being good to the point where people can rely on you and pushing others to achieve greatness can be done without sacrificing kindness.
  • Respect is earned through hard work, skill, and kindness.
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Aggressive Leadership and Culture

  • Aggression comes out in two forms: goal-oriented and culture-oriented.
  • Impact Theory's culture is designed to help achieve goals.
  • Employees must buy into the culture to work at Impact Theory.
  • Tom expects to be held accountable to the culture as quickly as he holds others accountable.
  • Tom shows up every day leading, not just because he's the CEO.
  • Tom tries to outwork everybody and have a deeper skill set than anybody.
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Grand Ambition, Drive, and Compassion

  • Tom looks for three things in people: grand ambition, drive, and compassion.
  • Drive and ambition are often paired with competitiveness, but Tom wants people who can elevate others.
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Commanding Respect in a Toxic Environment

  • If you're in a toxic environment, get out of it.
  • Toxicity comes from insecurity.
  • Being low in a non-toxic environment is okay.
  • Showing vulnerability should never be frowned upon.
  • Recontextualize failure as a learning opportunity.
  • Earn people's respect by getting back up on your feet and focusing on the learning opportunity.
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Radical Empathy and Growth Mindset

  • Empathy is understanding where someone is at, not feeling bad for them.
  • Receiving empathy is better than receiving sympathy.
  • Recontextualize failure as a learning opportunity.
  • Earn people's respect by rebounding quickly with energy and enthusiasm.
  • Focus on getting better and having a growth mindset.
  • Don't whine, wallow, or complain.
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Focusing on Improvement

  • Getting great requires failing over and over again.
  • Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.
  • Don't worry about what other people think when you fail.
  • Command respect by building your skill set to the point where you can't be denied.
  • Failure is the most information-rich data stream you will ever encounter.
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The Physics of Progress

  • Have a goal and an idea of how to reach it.
  • There will be impediments between where you are and where you want to be.
  • Try to overcome the impediments with a theory.
  • Many things you try will fail or be insufficient.
  • Assess why it was insufficient and begin again more intelligently.
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Navigating Cultural Expectations

  • Some cultures have a "know your place" mentality.
  • Divorce yourself from what other people think.
  • Realize that they don't have nearly as much power over you as you thought they did.
  • Don't get trapped by relying on them for money or emotional support.
  • If you're chafing under the constraints of a value system that doesn't lead where you want to go, it's time to make a change.
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Earning Respect

  • Focus every day on getting better.
  • Consistent improvement will earn respect as a consequence.
  • Don't worry about earning people's respect or what they think.
  • It's about the physics of how the world works.
  • Don't be afraid of your low moments.
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Building Boundaries and Achieving Success

  • When pursuing your goals, it's important to communicate with loved ones and let them know what you're doing, even if they don't approve.
  • Give them the chance to get on board over time, but if they're too negative, you may need to create distance and build boundaries.
  • Financial and emotional independence is crucial for success, and everyone should strive for it.
  • Developing competence and confidence, performing at a high level, and showing kindness even to those who aren't kind to you will earn respect.
  • Surround yourself with people who inspire you and help you grow, and leverage your improved skill set to achieve success.
  • Respect is not something you can command or set out to earn, but rather an echo of your hard work and dedication to your goals.

Watch the video on YouTube:
These Are Skills Needed To Earn Respect | Q&A with Tom Bilyeu - YouTube

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