What Makes A Real Man? | Lewis Howes on Impact Theory

Last updated: Jun 1, 2023

The video is an interview with Lewis Howes, a successful entrepreneur and author, discussing his journey from being broke and living on his sister's couch to building a seven-figure online business and becoming a recognized figure in the business world.

The video is an interview with Lewis Howes on Impact Theory, where he discusses his journey from being broke and broken to creating one of the top 100 podcasts in the world, building a seven-figure online business, and being recognized by President Obama as one of the top 100 entrepreneurs under 30. He talks about his desire to learn and how he leveraged his networking techniques to build his successful online business. He also discusses his latest book, The Mask of Masculinity, which aims to destroy preconceived notions of what it means to be a real man. The interview highlights the importance of intention, discipline, and execution in achieving success.

  • The show aims to introduce people and ideas that help execute dreams.
  • Lewis Howes went from being broke to building a seven-figure online business.
  • He grew up with a learning disability and was bullied.
  • He leveraged his networking techniques to build his first successful online business.
  • Lewis Howes is a seasoned high-performance business coach and a keynote speaker.
  • His success is the story of intention, discipline, and execution.
  • Lewis realized the importance of vulnerability and being true to oneself.
  • He went through a journey of self-discovery, forgiveness, and letting go of masks.
  • Lewis encourages people to seek their truth and take action to move forward.

What Makes A Real Man? | Lewis Howes on Impact Theory - YouTube

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Introduction

  • People will judge us whether we pursue big dreams or do nothing.
  • The goal of the show is to introduce people and ideas that will help execute dreams.
  • Today's guest went from being broke and living on his sister's couch to building a seven-figure online business and becoming a recognized figure in the business world.
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Lewis Howes' Journey

  • Lewis Howes grew up with a learning disability and was bullied.
  • At eight years old, he watched his older brother go to prison for selling drugs.
  • He started learning to use LinkedIn to meet people who could teach him something.
  • He got some of the world's greatest minds on his podcast, which now has over 30 million downloads.
  • He leveraged his networking techniques to build his first successful online business, which he ultimately sold.
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Lewis Howes' Accomplishments

  • Lewis Howes is a seasoned high-performance business coach who advises billion-dollar brands.
  • He is a keynote speaker who has been on stages all over the world.
  • His first book, The School of Greatness, became a New York Times bestseller.
  • Details magazine called him one of the five internet gurus who can make you rich.
  • He has been featured on Ellen, the New York Times, People, Forbes, and many other major media outlets.
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What Makes A Real Man? | Lewis Howes on Impact Theory - YouTube

Intention, Discipline, and Execution

  • Lewis Howes' success is the story of intention, discipline, and execution.
  • He tries to add as much value to people's lives as possible without asking for anything in return.
  • He has a vision or a dream and then works to make it come true, even if it takes 10 or 20 years.
  • He believes most people give up too easily and move on to something else if it doesn't happen within the first six months.
  • His discipline and focus helped him succeed as an athlete and in business.
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Reasons for Choosing the Topic

  • Everything Lewis does is for a reason.
  • He tries to constantly do things that put him out of a box, make him uncomfortable, and challenge him.
  • Talking about masculine vulnerability was a challenge for him.
  • He made a bet with his siblings that he wouldn't be a drunk jock football player in college.
  • He never had a sip of alcohol all four years of college.
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Self-Discovery

  • Lewis got into a big fight four years ago and started getting angrier and angrier in his life as he was achieving more and more financially.
  • He found himself more and more triggered emotionally from simple attacks that people had on him.
  • He was very triggered in his relationship where he would just get more and more bent out of shape and hurt in certain situations and frustrated and resentful.
  • He was playing a lot of pickup basketball at this time and was literally every time he would go, he would get in some type of altercation.
  • One day, a guy who was actually bigger than him and older than him head-butted him and they got into a pretty bad fight.
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Alpha Male Mentality

  • Lewis would get more and more aggressive at the basketball courts in relationships and then he would take it out in the courts on like 18-year-old kids.
  • He allowed his ego, his mask, to own him as opposed to having emotional intelligence and owning the moment.
  • He had zero control over his emotions.
  • He was just so fired up he couldn't believe what he did and the guy's face was just mauled bleeding everywhere.
  • He remembers running home in shame and fear.
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The Importance of Vulnerability

  • Lewis realized that he needed to start being more vulnerable and open up about his emotions.
  • He started to realize that he was wearing a mask and that he needed to take it off.
  • He started to realize that he was not alone in his struggles and that other men were going through the same thing.
  • He started to realize that vulnerability is not weakness, but rather strength.
  • He started to realize that vulnerability is the key to building strong relationships and becoming a real man.
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Self-Discovery and Finding Truth

  • After losing a basketball game, Lewis Howes had a moment of self-reflection and realized he needed to reevaluate his life.
  • He began a journey of self-discovery, taking workshops on emotional intelligence and going to therapists to ask questions and seek answers.
  • He wanted to understand why he was reactive, resentful, unforgiving, and passive-aggressive.
  • He realized he needed to find his truth and let go of past pain and forgive himself for everything he did or didn't do.
  • He learned to communicate his internal challenges and let go of the masks he had been wearing throughout his life.
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Awareness of Ego and Forgiveness

  • Lewis Howes realized that his ego was leading the way and he needed to be aware of how it was supporting or hurting him.
  • He learned to have a conversation with his ego and let it go.
  • He learned the importance of forgiveness, including forgiving himself for past mistakes and experiences.
  • He let go of the energy he had been holding onto and learned to communicate his internal challenges.
  • He realized that when people don't feel like they can communicate, internal challenges arise and can lead to outward challenges.
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Masks and Self-Discovery

  • Lewis Howes realized that he had been wearing masks throughout his life.
  • He wore different types of masks, including a sexual mask, a material mask, an athlete mask, an aggression mask, a know-it-all mask, and a Joker mask.
  • He learned to let go of these masks and be his true self.
  • He realized that self-discovery is an ongoing process and that he is constantly learning and growing.
  • He encourages others to be vulnerable and authentic and to let go of the masks they have been wearing.
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Lessons Learned and Moving Forward

  • Lewis Howes learned the importance of self-discovery, forgiveness, and letting go of masks.
  • He realized that vulnerability and authenticity are key to personal growth and success.
  • He encourages others to seek their truth and be their true selves.
  • He believes that everyone has the potential to be successful and make a positive impact on the world.
  • He encourages people to take action and move forward, even if they don't have all the answers.
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The Challenge of Wearing Masks

  • Wearing masks is a coping mechanism that humans use to protect themselves.
  • Wearing masks can weigh on humans and cause them to fixate on certain things to get certain results.
  • Wearing masks can be a challenge and a coping mechanism to get to the result of what we're looking for.
  • Wearing masks can be a way to defend and protect ourselves.
  • Wearing masks can be a way to cope with situations that occur in our lives.
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When to Use and Remove Masks

  • Wear a mask when it can drive and fuel us to help achieve our dreams and create better relationships.
  • Take off the mask when it's hurting yourself and others.
  • Be aware of a different mask to put on or completely take it off and be your vulnerable, real self.
  • If it's not for the betterment of all and it's hurting your health, it's time to take it off.
  • If you can do it in a way that drives your mission forward and leaves an impact on people around you, then it's okay to wear a mask.
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Identity and Masks

  • Self-discovery is key to deconstructing the process of wearing masks.
  • Open communication, patience, and feedback can help in the process of deconstructing masks.
  • Wearing masks can be real and core to who you are, but it can spill over into a mask.
  • It's important to differentiate between when you're being authentic and when you're wearing a mask.
  • Helping people deconstruct the process of wearing masks involves a lot of self-discovery.
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Being Vulnerable and Authentic

  • Being vulnerable and authentic is key to building strong relationships.
  • Being vulnerable and authentic can help you connect with other human beings.
  • Being vulnerable and authentic means letting people see your flaws and imperfections.
  • Being vulnerable and authentic means being your true self.
  • Being vulnerable and authentic can help you achieve your dreams and create better relationships.
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Importance of Feedback

  • Feedback is important to know if your way is the right way.
  • Asking for feedback from others can help improve relationships.
  • Having open conversations with friends and family can help gain feedback.
  • Asking for feedback from your audience can also be helpful.
  • Feedback can lead to freedom from emotions and inner peace.
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How to Ask for Feedback

  • Start with an open conversation with someone and ask them to rate you.
  • Ask someone to write a list of the things that work well for you, your strengths and weaknesses.
  • Ask how open you are to feedback on a scale of one to ten.
  • Email someone and ask for feedback if you can't have an open conversation.
  • Ask people to write down five things that you do well and five things that you can work on.
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Benefits of Asking for Feedback

  • Freedom from emotions and anything that's been holding you back emotionally.
  • Forgiveness and inner peace.
  • Stronger relationships and trust with friends and family.
  • Forming a stronger bond with others.
  • Letting go of things that have been holding you back for years.
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