Jordan Peterson: How To Become The Person You’ve Always Wanted To Be | E113

Last updated: Jun 2, 2023

The video is an interview with Jordan Peterson about how to become the person you've always wanted to be, including the importance of being truthful in relationships and the journey from persona to authenticity.

The video features a conversation between Stephen Bartlett and Jordan Peterson, where they discuss how to become the person you've always wanted to be. Peterson advises viewers to identify one thing they are doing wrong and meditate on how to fix it. He also emphasizes the importance of being truthful in relationships and not wearing a persona. Bartlett shares how being truthful in his relationships has strengthened them. Peterson also discusses Carl Jung's concept of persona and how it can be a journey towards authenticity.

  • Self-reflection is important for identifying and fixing personal flaws.
  • Jordan Peterson is known for his pursuit of truth and its impact on people's lives.
  • Truth is important in relationships for deeper connections.
  • Authenticity is a journey from persona to true self.
  • Building a persona is important but not a substitute for being truthful.
  • Overcoming fear and making a plan is necessary for personal growth.
  • Being truthful in relationships is crucial for building trust and respect.
  • Understanding and addressing inadequacies is important for self-development.
  • Negotiating and goal-setting are crucial skills for success.
  • Dealing with inadequacies and trapped situations requires self-reflection and a plan for success.

Jordan Peterson: How To Become The Person You’ve Always Wanted To Be | E113 - YouTube

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Section 1: Self-Reflection

  • Sit on your bed and ask yourself what's one thing you're doing wrong that you know you're doing wrong that you could fix.
  • Meditate on that question to get an answer.
  • The answer may not be what you want, but it will be necessary.
  • Trapped situations may be due to your own inadequacy.
  • Put yourself in the most virtuous and powerful negotiating position possible.
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Section 2: Introduction to Jordan Peterson

  • Jordan Peterson is known for his unrelenting desire to say what he believes to be true.
  • His pursuit of truth has changed millions of people's lives.
  • The podcast host owes Jordan Peterson a debt of gratitude for the impact he has had on his life.
  • Jordan Peterson's commitment to being true to oneself is a pivotal thing for the host.
  • The importance of truth in relationships is discussed.
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Section 3: Importance of Truth in Relationships

  • It is difficult to truly connect with someone if you're not speaking and being truthful.
  • Wearing a mask in relationships can lead to a disconnect between who you are and who you're trying to be.
  • Admitting to the persona issue is necessary to connect with someone on a deeper level.
  • Speaking your truth can strengthen a relationship.
  • The host's relationship became stronger than ever before after he started speaking his truth.
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Jordan Peterson: How To Become The Person You’ve Always Wanted To Be | E113 - YouTube

Section 4: Journey from Persona to Authenticity

  • Everyone has a proclivity to act out a persona instead of allowing others to connect with their underlying uncertainty and inadequacy.
  • Carl Jung believed that forming a persona is necessary, but it should be a voyage from persona to authenticity.
  • Acting out your ideals is necessary to reach authenticity.
  • Authenticity is a journey from undifferentiated self in infancy through persona to authenticity.
  • Being authentic means being true to oneself.
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The Importance of Persona and Authenticity

  • Formulating an avatar of yourself is important in casual social encounters.
  • Functional shell is necessary but it should not be all that there is.
  • Building personas on social media can lead to following implicit instructions that come with those personas.
  • Persona is no substitute for the real thing.
  • Being truthful is important for the adventure of your life.
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The Adventure of Your Life

  • Pinocchio is a brilliant work of art that explores the idea of being an actor.
  • Acting out a myth is common, but who sets your role and who's pulling your strings?
  • Putting on a front to make yourself popular and desirable masks your own inadequacies.
  • Being truthful means coming to terms with your inadequacies in humility.
  • Without being truthful, you don't have the adventure of your life.
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Overcoming Fear and Making a Plan

  • Young people often choose certain misery over the uncertainty of going on the adventure of their life.
  • Make a plan to overcome fear and uncertainty.
  • Problem statement needs to be differentiated and analyzed in detail.
  • Undervalued at work? Figure out what you have to say to bring more value to the table.
  • Being truthful about your inadequacies is painful but necessary for the adventure of your life.
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The Importance of Being Truthful in Relationships

  • Being truthful is important in relationships.
  • Deeply coming to terms with your inadequacies is necessary for being truthful.
  • Being truthful means being authentic and not putting on a front.
  • Building a persona is no substitute for the real thing.
  • Being truthful is necessary for the adventure of your life.
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Importance of Being Truthful in Relationships

  • Being truthful in relationships is crucial for building trust and respect.
  • Not valuing someone properly can lead to demoralization and poor performance.
  • If your boss is not open to discussing your value, consider finding another job.
  • Prepare your resume or CV and update it to address any inadequacies.
  • Apply for multiple jobs to explore opportunities and negotiate from a position of strength.
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Understanding and Addressing Inadequacies

  • Self-awareness is crucial for self-development.
  • Understand your inadequacies and address them realistically and truthfully.
  • Walk through your judgments and see if they are warranted.
  • Take courses or make a plan to rectify any holes in your resume or CV.
  • Be prepared to address inadequacies in a credible and believable manner.
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Negotiating and Goal-Setting

  • Think like a snake to negotiate and put yourself in a powerful position.
  • Be prepared to bite and have your eyes on the prize.
  • Goal-setting and conceptualizing appropriate success are crucial skills.
  • People are not taught how to negotiate or goal-set.
  • The humanities are supposed to teach people these skills.
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Dealing with Inadequacies and Trapped Situations

  • Even if you are trapped, focus on what you can do to put yourself in a virtuous and powerful negotiating position.
  • Understand your own inadequacies and work to address them.
  • Be prepared to negotiate and have a plan for success.
  • Think about why you are trapped and what you can do to change the situation.
  • People are not taught how to deal with inadequacies or trapped situations.
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Self-Reflection and Improvement

  • Sit down and ask yourself what is one thing you're doing wrong that you know you're doing wrong that you could fix.
  • Be honest with yourself and meditate on the answer.
  • The answer won't be one you want, but it'll be the necessary one.
  • Start making micro-improvements to things you know that are wrong.
  • You'll improve unbelievably rapidly.
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Throneness and Existential Guilt

  • Throneness is the fact that we kind of experience life as if we're tossed into it.
  • You have an arbitrary range of talents and an arbitrary range of limitations none of which in some sense you chose.
  • Some of those are cards of privilege.
  • Along with that comes a good dose of existential guilt because the ground we walk on is soaked in the blood of historical atrocity.
  • You have to take the responsibility for that historical atrocity onto yourself.
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The Adversary is Within

  • The adversary is within most profoundly.
  • You have to take the responsibility for historical atrocity onto yourself.
  • People think who's the Nazi, who's the radical communist, but it's best dealt with as a spiritual matter.
  • The adversary is within, and you have to deal with it.
  • You have weapons at your disposal, but they've been used by your murderous uncle.
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The Importance of Humility

  • The existentialists called it throneness.
  • That's a high dagarian term.
  • Some of those are cards of privilege.
  • Along with that comes a good dose of existential guilt.
  • When the left radical lefty types go after people for their unearned privilege, they have a point.
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The Importance of Responsibility and Virtue

  • Being responsible means being aware of the potential consequences of your actions.
  • Privilege comes with a cost, and that cost is virtue.
  • Expiating guilt and atoning for privilege involves living the best possible life, speaking the truth, treating people with respect, and abiding by the principles of individual dignity.
  • Envy is not useful because everyone has their own privileges and curses.
  • Individuals have intrinsic dignity, and it's important to recognize the value of your own position and circumstances.
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The Role of Struggle and Chaos in Life

  • Struggle and chaos are necessary for personal growth and fulfillment.
  • Positive emotions are experienced in relation to a goal, and pursuing that goal puts you together and makes your life better.
  • The highest levels of virtue and goal are transcendent and above everything you're doing.
  • You want a horizon of ever-expanding possibility, not just a temporary escape from struggle.
  • Staking your soul on the attainment of an instrumental goal can lead to emptiness and aimlessness once the goal is achieved.
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The Journey from Persona to Authenticity

  • Persona is the mask you wear to protect yourself from the world.
  • Authenticity involves taking off the mask and being vulnerable.
  • Being truthful in relationships is crucial for authenticity.
  • Authenticity requires taking responsibility for your own life and not blaming others for your problems.
  • Putting your house in order involves cleaning up your own life before trying to fix the world.
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The Importance of Meaning and Purpose

  • Meaning and purpose are necessary for a fulfilling life.
  • Meaning can be found in the pursuit of a goal that is transcendent and ever-expanding.
  • Religion provides a framework for finding meaning and purpose.
  • Meaning can also be found in personal relationships and the responsibility that comes with them.
  • It's important to find your own meaning and purpose, rather than relying on external sources to provide it for you.
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The Importance of Being Active in Life

  • Conceptualize becoming the person you want to be as an active warrior moving up a hill with a sword in hand.
  • Young men disappear into video games because it allows them to act out this dynamic and exciting persona.
  • Video games are not a substitute for life, but they can be good training for life under certain conditions.
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The Shift to Remote Working

  • Remote working has become more prevalent in the business world over the last two years.
  • There are concerns about the lack of meaningful connections with people due to the increase in screen time for dating and socializing.
  • The office was one of the few institutions where people could meet new friends and partners, especially as a younger person.
  • It is difficult to duplicate embodied environments in a healthy and comprehensive manner in the virtual world.
  • Online university is a possibility, but it is challenging to understand what the university is because it serves as an excuse for young people to adopt an identity of upward striving for four years away from their parents while they meet a new group of friends.
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The Importance of Living with Others

  • Living with others is an essential part of negotiating how much partying to do, balancing practicality and upward striving.
  • Living with others helps to develop skills in tracking mutual obligations and fulfilling them.
  • Living with others can help to reformulate peer networks, which can be the most important part of education.
  • Living with others can lead to lifelong friendships and partnerships.
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The Journey from Persona to Authenticity

  • It is essential to move from persona to authenticity to become the person you want to be.
  • Being truthful in relationships is crucial to this journey.
  • Being truthful means being honest about your flaws and weaknesses.
  • Being truthful means being willing to confront difficult situations and have difficult conversations.
  • Being truthful means being willing to take responsibility for your actions and their consequences.
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