The Secret to Making Powerful Friends | Jordan Harbinger on Impact Theory

Last updated: Jun 1, 2023

The video is an interview with Jordan Harbinger, a former Wall Street lawyer who co-founded a podcast and Academy called the Art of Charm, and discusses his success in social dynamics and making powerful friends.

The video is an interview with Jordan Harbinger, a former Wall Street lawyer who co-founded a podcast and Academy called The Art of Charm. He speaks about deliberate practice, cultivating strengths and weaknesses, and his experiences giving tours in North Korea and being a former phone hacker. Harbinger also discusses his interest in learning about things that people try to keep secret and his decision to pursue a life of meaning instead of chasing money. He has become one of the most sought-after speakers and coaches in the world, with his work being presented at Silicon Valley mega-companies such as Google, Apple, Twitter, and Square.

  • Jordan Harbinger left his job as a Wall Street lawyer to pursue a life of meaning.
  • Deliberate practice involves breaking down a skill into its component parts and practicing each part until it becomes automatic.
  • Harbinger emphasizes the importance of building powerful relationships and networking.
  • Harbinger has a rebellious streak and is interested in learning about things that people are trying to keep secret.
  • Jordan Harbinger's focus on networking and maintaining relationships allowed him to build a powerful network.
  • Jordan Harbinger learned the importance of networking and maintaining relationships from a partner who worked from home.
  • Jordan Harbinger started teaching social dynamics on the side and eventually discovered podcasting.
  • They charged for coaching and realized there was real money in it.
  • Jordan Harbinger used tactics and techniques to overcome his shyness.

The Secret to Making Powerful Friends | Jordan Harbinger on Impact Theory - YouTube

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Introduction and Background

  • The interview is with Jordan Harbinger, co-founder of the Art of Charm podcast and Academy.
  • Harbinger left his job as a Wall Street lawyer to pursue a life of meaning.
  • He has built a seven-figure business and one of the most dominant podcasts on iTunes.
  • Harbinger speaks five languages, including Mandarin Chinese and Serbian.
  • He has given talks on security, social engineering, and psychology at places such as Blackhat and Harvard Business School.
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Deliberate Practice

  • Harbinger emphasizes the importance of deliberate practice.
  • People should focus on deliberately practicing their weaknesses and making them as strong as possible.
  • At the same time, they should practice their strengths and make those the top of their performance.
  • Most people are too lazy to do this and either want to practice everything or don't want to figure out which piece is the most important.
  • Deliberate practice involves breaking down a skill into its component parts and practicing each part until it becomes automatic.
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Building Powerful Relationships

  • Harbinger has created a playbook on social dynamics that has made him one of the most sought-after speakers and coaches in the world.
  • His work has been presented in Silicon Valley at mega-companies such as Google, Apple, Twitter, and Square.
  • Forbes named him one of the 50 best relationship builders anywhere.
  • Harbinger's company and interests have led him to study some of the most successful people in the world.
  • He emphasizes the importance of building powerful relationships and networking.
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The Secret to Making Powerful Friends | Jordan Harbinger on Impact Theory - YouTube

Rebellious Streak and Pursuit of Knowledge

  • Harbinger has a rebellious streak and is interested in learning about things that people are trying to keep secret.
  • As a child, he was a phone hacker and listened to people's phone calls when he was 13.
  • Harbinger is more interested in learning why people are trying to keep something a secret than in breaking the rule itself.
  • He left his job as a Wall Street lawyer to pursue a life of meaning and cultivate his pursuit of knowledge.
  • Harbinger started the Art of Charm podcast and Academy in 2006, which was beyond counterintuitive at the time.
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Background and Motivation

  • Jordan Harbinger's competitive advantage in college was outworking everyone else.
  • When he got to Wall Street, he realized that everyone was already hardworking and smart.
  • He wanted to make himself smarter in a short timeframe to avoid getting fired due to imposter syndrome.
  • He discovered the importance of networking and maintaining relationships from a partner who worked from home.
  • He decided to focus on developing this skill set to make himself valuable and stay at the top of the game.
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Teaching Social Dynamics

  • Jordan Harbinger started teaching social dynamics on the side after mastering the skill set.
  • He burned his conversations to CDs and distributed them to people who wanted to learn.
  • He eventually discovered podcasting and started uploading his conversations to a server.
  • He realized that there was a niche community of people who knew about podcasting and started building an audience.
  • He initially thought it was just a hobby, but eventually realized that there was a real audience and potential for a business.
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Building Powerful Relationships

  • Jordan Harbinger's focus on networking and maintaining relationships allowed him to build a powerful network.
  • He never waited in line at a bar and never paid for food or drinks because he always knew someone.
  • He burned his conversations to CDs and distributed them to people who wanted to learn.
  • He eventually discovered podcasting and started uploading his conversations to a server.
  • He realized that there was a niche community of people who knew about podcasting and started building an audience.
  • He initially thought it was just a hobby, but eventually realized that there was a real audience and potential for a business.
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Lessons Learned

  • Jordan Harbinger learned the importance of networking and maintaining relationships from a partner who worked from home.
  • He focused on developing this skill set to make himself valuable and stay at the top of the game.
  • He started teaching social dynamics on the side and eventually discovered podcasting.
  • He built a powerful network and realized the potential for a business.
  • He learned that there was a niche community of people who knew about podcasting and started building an audience.
  • He realized that there was a real audience and potential for a business.
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Starting the Podcast

  • Jordan Harbinger was invited to talk about someone else's book on Sirius XM satellite radio.
  • He was asked to talk about body language, persuasion, influence, and networking.
  • The station manager listened to their podcast and gave them their own show on Sirius XM satellite radio.
  • They did not start thinking about it as a business until people started writing in and asking for coaching.
  • They charged for coaching and realized there was real money in it.
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Business Hobbies Shift

  • People started writing in and asking for coaching.
  • They charged for coaching and realized there was real money in it.
  • They had their first training client who paid to live with them for a week.
  • They realized that if people were willing to pay for coaching, it could be a business.
  • The business was driven by the demand for the service and the coaching and knowledge.
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Overcoming Shyness

  • Jordan Harbinger was painfully shy growing up.
  • He used tactics and techniques to get out of it.
  • He felt like he was faking it at first, but people started treating him differently.
  • He realized that his self-esteem was matching up with the way people were perceiving him.
  • He had a core level identity shift into who he was and started to become more confident.
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The Doorway Principle

  • The Doorway Principle fixes body language to create a positive first impression.
  • First impressions are made non-verbally.
  • The Doorway Drill is potent because it resets body language to create a positive first impression.
  • Practice the Doorway Drill every time you walk through a doorway.
  • Stick post-it notes at eye level in the doorframe to remind you to practice the Doorway Drill.
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Creating Powerful Friends

  • Creating powerful friends is about building relationships.
  • Building relationships is about giving value to others.
  • Be interested in others and ask them questions.
  • Find common ground and build rapport.
  • Be authentic and genuine.
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The Importance of Body Language

  • Body language is a powerful tool in communication.
  • Non-verbal communication makes up a significant portion of communication.
  • Body language can influence how others perceive us.
  • Positive body language can create a positive first impression.
  • Practice positive body language to make it a subconscious habit.
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The Power of Networking

  • Networking is about building relationships and creating opportunities.
  • Networking is not just about meeting people, but also about following up and maintaining relationships.
  • Networking is about giving value to others and building trust.
  • Networking can lead to new opportunities and collaborations.
  • Networking requires effort and persistence.
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Deliberate Practice

  • Revision and review are important for learning.
  • Deliberately practice weaknesses to make them stronger.
  • Practice strengths to improve performance.
  • Most people are too lazy to practice deliberately.
  • People overlook the importance of deliberate practice.
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Learning Languages

  • Immersion is the best way to learn a language.
  • People who think they're not good at languages may have learned in a bad environment.
  • Learning a language in school doesn't necessarily mean you're bad at it.
  • Learning a language in a different environment can make a big difference.
  • Humans learn language through immersion.
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Importance of Coaching

  • Coaching is important for learning anything.
  • Find a coach to take you to the next level.
  • Even if you can't find a coach, keep looking.
  • Find a coach early to avoid unlearning bad habits.
  • Stalk someone to be your coach if necessary.
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