If You FEEL LOST & UNHAPPY In Life, Watch This To FIND YOURSELF In 2023 | Jay Shetty

Last updated: Jun 1, 2023

The video is about Jay Shetty, a best-selling author and host of a health and wellness podcast, discussing the power of therapy and his own personal experience with it.

The video is a conversation between Jay Shetty, a best-selling author and host of a health and wellness podcast, and Jesu Joe, a licensed therapist and head of clinical operations at BetterHelp. They discuss the power of therapy and the importance of self-reflection. Jay Shetty puts himself in the hot seat and shares his childhood experiences, highlighting the importance of understanding how childhood experiences can manifest in adulthood. The video aims to provide insight into what therapy looks like and to encourage people to seek help if they feel lost or unhappy in life.

  • Jay Shetty is a best-selling author and host of a health and wellness podcast.
  • Therapists explore childhood experiences because they often manifest in adulthood.
  • Jay Shetty reflects on his childhood memories and what he has chosen to block out.
  • Therapy can help people gain self-awareness and self-reflection.
  • Jay Shetty's most common memories of childhood are of being bullied.
  • Jay's childhood experiences of trauma have shaped his identity and worldview.
  • Reflecting on childhood memories can bring up defining experiences that shape one's identity.
  • Jay Shetty talks about his experience with bullying in school.
  • Jay Shetty reflects on how his experience with bullying has helped him grow as a person.

If You FEEL LOST & UNHAPPY In Life, Watch This To FIND YOURSELF In 2023 | Jay Shetty - YouTube

If You FEEL LOST & UNHAPPY In Life, Watch This To FIND YOURSELF In 2023 | Jay Shetty 001

Introduction

  • Jay Shetty is a best-selling author and host of a health and wellness podcast
  • He discusses the power of therapy and his personal experience with it
  • He is joined by Jesu Joe, a licensed therapist and head of clinical operations at BetterHelp
  • They discuss the benefits of therapy and the importance of self-reflection
  • Jay Shetty wants to show people what therapy looks like and hopes to inspire others to seek help
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Why Therapists Explore Childhood Experiences

  • Therapists explore childhood experiences because they often manifest in adulthood
  • Childhood experiences can affect the way people communicate and connect with others
  • Therapists want to understand the client's past to help them in the present
  • Exploring childhood experiences can help clients identify patterns and behaviors that may be holding them back
  • Therapists provide rationale for exploring childhood experiences to help clients understand the importance of this process
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Jay Shetty's Childhood

  • Jay Shetty reflects on his childhood memories and what he has chosen to block out
  • He acknowledges that some memories are clear while others are not
  • He recognizes the importance of exploring his childhood experiences in therapy
  • Jay Shetty is open to discussing his childhood experiences with Jesu Joe
  • He is willing to be vulnerable and honest in the therapy session
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If You FEEL LOST & UNHAPPY In Life, Watch This To FIND YOURSELF In 2023 | Jay Shetty - YouTube

The Benefits of Therapy

  • Therapy can help people gain self-awareness and self-reflection
  • Therapy can provide a safe and non-judgmental space for people to explore their thoughts and feelings
  • Therapy can help people identify patterns and behaviors that may be holding them back
  • Therapy can help people develop coping mechanisms and strategies for dealing with difficult situations
  • Therapy can improve mental health and overall well-being
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Bullying in Childhood

  • Jay Shetty's most common memories of childhood are of being bullied.
  • Bullying included being called hurtful names due to his Indian heritage and being overweight.
  • He was also trained by his parents to do well at school, which made him a target for bullies.
  • The bullying started with words and names but evolved into physical violence.
  • Jay's mom had to come into school to talk to teachers about the bullying, but she was not satisfied with how it was being handled.
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Impact of Childhood Trauma

  • Jay's childhood experiences of trauma have shaped his identity and worldview.
  • Living in fear of going to school made him feel like the world is unsafe and people are untrustworthy.
  • He became discerning about who he connects with and felt alienated in school.
  • However, he did not feel a sense of betrayal at that age, as it was more neutral.
  • His childhood trauma has had a lasting impact on his life and mental health.
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Bonding with a Tough Kid

  • Jay became friends with the toughest kid in school, Ian, who no one would argue with.
  • They bonded over football and supporting the same team.
  • Being friends with Ian made Jay less of a target for bullies.
  • Ian was short but extremely powerful, and no one would want to get into a fight with him.
  • They became best friends and remained close throughout their childhood.
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Reflection on Childhood Memories

  • Reflecting on childhood memories can bring up defining experiences that shape one's identity.
  • It is important to acknowledge and process childhood trauma to heal and move forward.
  • Sharing childhood experiences openly can be difficult but can also help others who have gone through similar experiences.
  • Jay's childhood experiences have influenced his work in mental health and wellness.
  • He encourages others to seek therapy and support to work through their own trauma and find healing.
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Personal experience with bullying and resilience

  • Jay Shetty talks about his experience with bullying in school.
  • He was ostracized, picked on, and even beat up.
  • He talks about feeling scared and embarrassed to go to school.
  • Despite this, he never missed a day of school.
  • He credits his resilience to the love and support he received from his family.
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Importance of family support

  • Jay Shetty talks about feeling loved and protected by his mother.
  • His parents' values of doing well in school were ingrained in him.
  • He never felt that the color of his skin was a disadvantage.
  • His parents never reinforced what was going on with the bullying, but instead defended him as a human being.
  • Resilience was built at home through love, presence, and support from his family.
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The lesson of resilience and persistence

  • Jay Shetty talks about the importance of having a bigger purpose and reason to keep going, even in difficult times.
  • He credits this lesson to his parents' values of doing well in school for his future.
  • He believes that resilience and persistence are necessary to achieve one's goals.
  • He acknowledges that he may not have felt resilient at the time, but the thoughts that stayed with him were of kids being with him and tough times.
  • He believes that there is a lesson in this for everyone.
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Reflection on personal growth

  • Jay Shetty reflects on how his experience with bullying has helped him grow as a person.
  • He believes that he has learned to see himself as he is, without feeling better or worse than others.
  • He acknowledges that there were tough days, but those thoughts don't seem to have stayed with him.
  • He believes that he has extrapolated good values from his parents' love and support.
  • He believes that his experience has helped him develop empathy and compassion for others.
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Personal Experience with Trauma

  • Jay Shetty talks about his experience with physical abuse and how it has affected him emotionally.
  • He remembers the event but doesn't have a strong sense of emotion attached to it.
  • He questions why he doesn't feel worse about what happened to him.
  • He wonders if he is protecting himself from a really bad trauma.
  • He and his best friend often talk about this and question why they don't feel worse about their past experiences.
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The Power of Repression and Coping Mechanisms

  • Jay Shetty discusses how repression of memories and avoidance of painful pasts are coping mechanisms.
  • Even if we're not consciously aware of it, our psyche tries to protect us from something.
  • Reliving painful memories on a constant basis can prevent us from accomplishing anything.
  • Separating ourselves from the feelings we experienced at the time can be a protective factor.
  • We don't necessarily need to search for all the things to unlock the past if our present moment is still something we're thriving in.
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The Difference Between Thinking and Overthinking

  • Jay Shetty talks about the difference between thinking and overthinking.
  • Overanalyzing and overthinking can lead to trying to find something that may not be there.
  • It's important to focus on the present moment and not get lost in the past.
  • There is something to be said for not constantly searching for connections and just living in the moment.
  • It's helpful to focus on the good things in our present moment and share them with others.
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The Importance of Therapy

  • Jay Shetty emphasizes the importance of therapy in helping us process our past experiences and emotions.
  • Therapy can help us understand why we feel the way we do and how to move forward.
  • It's important to find a therapist who is a good fit for us and who we feel comfortable opening up to.
  • Therapy can help us develop coping mechanisms and tools to deal with difficult emotions.
  • It's important to prioritize our mental health and seek help when we need it.
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Early experiences with empathy

  • Could sense other people's pain early on
  • Would stand up for people being bullied
  • Had personal experience with being called names and beaten up
  • Remembers painful experience of having a crush on a girl who was out of his league
  • Used these experiences as a source of courage
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Loss of confidence in teenage years

  • Felt confident about who he was before becoming a teenager
  • Was a good student and son
  • Identity was secure
  • Goal of life was to get into a good high school
  • Was busy with exams, homework, and studying
  • Had a small group of good friends
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Importance of therapy

  • Started therapy in his 20s
  • Realized he had unresolved issues from childhood
  • Therapy helped him understand himself better
  • Therapy helped him deal with anxiety and depression
  • Therapy helped him become more self-aware and empathetic
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Advice for finding oneself

  • Take time to reflect on your life
  • Write down your thoughts and feelings
  • Seek therapy or counseling
  • Surround yourself with positive people
  • Find a hobby or activity that brings you joy
  • Be patient and kind to yourself
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What it means to be 'othered'

  • 'Othered' means to be misunderstood and not given a chance to be understood.
  • It can be a strength because it can lead to taking risks and following a unique path.
  • Feeling 'othered' can make you feel left out and like a loser.
  • Being 'othered' can also mean feeling like a loner and sitting alone during lunch.
  • It can lead to hiding food and eating quickly, which can become a habit.
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The importance of being understood

  • Being understood is more important than being liked or validated.
  • Having pure intentions is important to being understood.
  • It can be hard to be misunderstood when you only want good things for people.
  • It's difficult for anyone to fully understand someone else, even if they know every detail of their story.
  • Feeling misunderstood can be upsetting and can lead to feeling like your trust and integrity are being questioned.
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The power of therapy

  • Therapy can help you understand yourself better.
  • It can help you work through past traumas and experiences.
  • Therapy can help you learn how to communicate your feelings and needs effectively.
  • It can help you develop coping mechanisms for dealing with difficult situations.
  • Therapy can help you become more self-aware and improve your relationships with others.
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The benefits of taking risks

  • Taking risks can lead to personal growth and self-discovery.
  • It can help you overcome fears and limitations.
  • Taking risks can lead to new opportunities and experiences.
  • It can help you find your passion and purpose in life.
  • Taking risks can be scary, but it can also be rewarding.
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Childhood Experience with Food

  • Mindful eating was a big practice when Jay was a monk.
  • He developed a habit of eating fast to avoid being judged for what he was eating.
  • He felt hardwired to want to belong and find acceptance with others.
  • His childhood experience may have impacted his relationship with food.
  • He held onto the idea that being skinny meant being healthy.
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Shift in Perspective on Food

  • When he married his wife, food became healing and healthier.
  • As a teenager, he became more focused on validation and fitting in.
  • He wanted to be liked, approved of, and validated.
  • He was willing to do things out of alignment with his values to be liked.
  • He was constantly living in a state of fear of being found out.
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