The Surprising & Unbelievable Dark Side Of Open Relationships: Aubrey Marcus | E242

Last updated: Jun 2, 2023

The video is an interview with Aubrey Marcus, the founder of Onnit, discussing his personal journey and the cost of success in building a fast-growing human performance company with Joe Rogan, as well as his experience with psychedelic medicine.

The video features Aubrey Marcus, the founder of Onnit, who talks about his journey to success and the dark side of open relationships. He discusses how he built and sold Onnit with Joe Rogan, one of the fastest-growing human performance companies in America. Marcus talks about the pivotal moment that changed everything for him, which was when he asked Joe Rogan what supplement he would like the most, and he went on to create Alpha Brain. He also talks about the significant dominoes that fell in his life, including his parents, stepmother, and stepfather, who were all models of greatness. Marcus also shares his experience with psychedelic medicine and how it led him to his desire to be great. The video ends with Marcus discussing the dark side of open relationships and how they can lead to jealousy and hurt.

  • Aubrey Marcus and Joe Rogan built and sold Onnit, a fast-growing human performance company.
  • Aubrey attributes his success to a series of dominoes that have fallen in his life, including his parents' breakup.
  • Aubrey had a craving for knowledge instilled in him by his grandmother and had his first psychedelic medicine journey at 18 years old.
  • Aubrey's mission is to contribute to the greater good of all and serve the world in the best way possible.
  • Aubrey had to unlearn negative aspects of his father's behavior and sacrifice his personal life and relationships to focus on his business.
  • Aubrey talks about how psychedelic medicine helped him change his behavior and connect with his spirituality and the universe.
  • Aubrey wants to pass on a legacy of love and support to his future child and break the lineage of negative behavior and trauma in his family.
  • Joe Rogan asks viewers to subscribe to his channel to help it grow.
  • Aubrey recognizes the cost of success and had to learn to delegate, balance his work and personal life, and prioritize his health and well-being.

The Surprising & Unbelievable Dark Side Of Open Relationships: Aubrey Marcus | E242 - YouTube

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Building Onnit with Joe Rogan

  • Aubrey Marcus and Joe Rogan built and sold Onnit, one of the fastest growing Human Performance companies in America.
  • Alpha Brain was the pivotal moment that changed everything for them.
  • They sold out of Alpha Brain in 12 hours and went from zero to 60 million in four years.
  • However, success comes with a cost.
  • Aubrey Marcus talks about the impact of success on his personal life.
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The First Domino

  • Aubrey Marcus attributes his success to a series of dominoes that have fallen in his life.
  • He believes that the first domino was his mother giving birth to him.
  • His mother was a professional tennis player and his father was a Pioneer in his field.
  • He also had a stepmother who was a naturopathic doctor and a stepfather who was a SWAT team squad officer.
  • All of these people served as models of greatness for him.
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The Craving for Knowledge

  • Aubrey Marcus had a craving for knowledge instilled in him by his grandmother.
  • He wanted to learn about the world and distribute that knowledge to others.
  • He had his first psychedelic medicine journey at 18 years old and felt his body disappear.
  • He felt what he could only call Consciousness or Soul.
  • This desire to be great was the genesis of his success.
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The Surprising & Unbelievable Dark Side Of Open Relationships: Aubrey Marcus | E242 - YouTube

Request for Subscribers

  • Before the interview starts, Joe Rogan asks viewers to subscribe to his channel.
  • He mentions that 74% of people who watch his channel do not subscribe.
  • He asks viewers to hit the subscribe button to help his channel grow.
  • He thanks viewers for their support and promises bigger guests as the channel grows.
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Aubrey Marcus' Mission

  • Aubrey Marcus is passionate about psychonautics, which is the exploration of the inner aspects of who we are.
  • He offers what he learns to the world through products, practices, workout equipment, supplements, podcasts, poems, and stories.
  • His mission is to contribute to the greater good of all.
  • He wants to serve the world in the best way possible.
  • He looks at the whole world and asks what it needs and what he can do to help the most.
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Significance of Aubrey Marcus' Parents Breaking Up

  • The ramifications of his parents breaking up were incredibly significant because it brought in his stepmother and stepfather into the constellation of his family.
  • He had four models of parent rather than two, which allowed him to get a much more well-rounded approach.
  • His father was an intellectual philosopher, while his stepfather brought the bare energy of what it is to be a man.
  • His understanding of what it means to be a man included many different things, such as eloquence, problem-solving, playing Scrabble and chess, brute force wrestling, and standing as a hero against what didn't serve.
  • With two models of father, he got to have a much more well-rounded idea of what it meant to be a man.
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Aubrey Marcus' Driving Desire

  • Aubrey Marcus' driving desire was to make a big impact and be big.
  • He wanted to be big because his parents were big, and he felt it in him that there's something big that's supposed to emerge.
  • He created Onnit, started his podcast, and wrote his book to accomplish that thing.
  • He wanted it to be for the good of all, and he always felt very connected to everybody else.
  • He recognized that everyone is part of the same source of life itself.
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Aubrey Marcus' Current Mission

  • Aubrey Marcus' current mission is to serve the world in the best way possible.
  • He looks at the whole world and asks what it needs and what he can do to help the most.
  • He hears that the world is hurting and recognizes that it's beautiful in every way.
  • He wants to contribute to the greater good of all.
  • He has accomplished the thing where Aubrey has made his mark, but that doesn't even matter anymore.
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Personal Journey and Family Trauma

  • Aubrey Marcus discusses how he had to unlearn negative aspects of his father's behavior.
  • He talks about how his father would fly into fits of rage and how he had to break that pattern.
  • Aubrey shares a story about how he yelled at a coworker and realized he needed to change his behavior.
  • He talks about how the lineage of transmission of negative behavior started with his grandfather.
  • Aubrey discusses how his father encouraged him to go on a psychedelic medicine journey to change himself.
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Cost of Success

  • Aubrey talks about the cost of success in building a fast-growing human performance company.
  • He discusses how he had to sacrifice his personal life and relationships to focus on his business.
  • Aubrey talks about how he had to learn to delegate and trust others to help him run his company.
  • He shares how he had to learn to balance his work and personal life to avoid burnout.
  • Aubrey discusses how he had to learn to prioritize his health and well-being to be successful in his business.
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Psychedelic Medicine

  • Aubrey talks about his experience with psychedelic medicine and how it helped him change his behavior.
  • He discusses how psychedelic medicine helped him break patterns of negative behavior and trauma.
  • Aubrey talks about how psychedelic medicine helped him connect with his spirituality and the universe.
  • He shares how he believes psychedelic medicine can help people heal and grow.
  • Aubrey discusses the importance of using psychedelic medicine responsibly and with proper guidance.
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Legacy and Fatherhood

  • Aubrey talks about his desire to pass on a legacy of love and support to his future child.
  • He discusses how he wants to break the lineage of negative behavior and trauma in his family.
  • Aubrey shares how he wants to teach his child about their own power and potential.
  • He talks about how he wants to initiate his child into different experiences, such as sweat lodges and cold mountains.
  • Aubrey discusses how he wants to prioritize his family and personal life while still running his business.
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Approval Seeking Behavior

  • Aubrey Marcus discusses his pattern of seeking approval from others.
  • He learned this behavior from his father, who represented the image of a surrogate father.
  • This behavior transferred to other people, including mentors, partners, and bosses.
  • He believed that if he performed well, he would be loved, and if he didn't, he wouldn't be loved.
  • He gives an example of his father flying into a rage during a ping pong game when Aubrey made a joke.
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The Cost of Approval Seeking

  • Aubrey Marcus explains that constantly seeking approval is mentally exhausting and anxious.
  • He would play out a million different scenarios in his head about how his words could be perceived by others.
  • He admits that he still struggles with this behavior sometimes, but he has mostly overcome it.
  • He says that this behavior made him a good listener and communicator, but it also made him less present in the moment.
  • He believes that everything that happens to you happens for you, and he sees this behavior as a gift that gave him his superpower.
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The Journey of Initiation

  • Aubrey Marcus talks about his personal journey of initiation.
  • He says that love was the guiding force throughout his journey.
  • He discusses his experience with psychedelic medicine and how it helped him confront his fears and insecurities.
  • He believes that these experiences are a form of initiation that can help people grow and evolve.
  • He emphasizes the importance of love and connection in these experiences.
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The Cost of Success

  • Aubrey Marcus talks about the cost of success in building a fast-growing human performance company.
  • He says that success can be isolating and lonely.
  • He discusses the pressure to maintain the company's growth and the toll it takes on him and his team.
  • He emphasizes the importance of self-care and taking breaks to avoid burnout.
  • He believes that success is not just about achieving goals but also about enjoying the journey and the people you share it with.
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Psychedelic Medicine Path

  • Aubrey's personal path to awareness has been through psychedelic medicine.
  • Psychedelic medicine doesn't necessarily involve taking anything.
  • Breath work at the highest level is as psychedelic as anything.
  • There are many psychonautic technologies that can get you there, such as sensory deprivation tanks and sweat lodges.
  • Aubrey has experienced many plant medicines and started to look at how those lineages can evolve.
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Vision Mission

  • A vision mission is a journey for a vision and going to a place where the medicine is actually there.
  • Aubrey's pivotal moment was during his first plant medicine journey where he had a vision of who he actually was.
  • He understood the limitlessness and the undying source of who he really is.
  • However, the next 10 years of his life didn't manifest what he assumed a plant medicine journey would have.
  • Externally, he was not meeting the criteria of his internal dynamics of understanding who he was.
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Cost of Success

  • Aubrey discusses the cost of success in building a fast-growing human performance company.
  • He talks about the pressure to constantly perform and the toll it takes on mental health.
  • He also discusses the importance of taking care of oneself and finding balance.
  • Aubrey shares his experience with burnout and how he had to step back and reevaluate his priorities.
  • He emphasizes the importance of being honest with oneself and taking the time to reflect on what truly matters.
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Open Relationships

  • Aubrey discusses the dark side of open relationships.
  • He talks about the jealousy and insecurity that can arise.
  • He emphasizes the importance of communication and setting boundaries.
  • Aubrey shares his personal experience with open relationships and how it has been a learning process.
  • He also talks about the importance of self-awareness and understanding one's own needs and desires.
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Early Struggles and Failures

  • Aubrey Marcus struggled to find success in his early business ventures, including a failed men's nail polish line.
  • He felt like he was never going to succeed, despite always finding a client or paycheck.
  • He needed to run and explore, both in his personal life and in the realm of psychedelic medicine.
  • He had a feeling that he was meant to be friends with Joe Rogan, even before Rogan became a podcasting icon.
  • He eventually advertised on Rogan's podcast for Fleshlight, but only after stipulating a 30-minute coffee meeting with Rogan.
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Building Onnit and the Cost of Success

  • Aubrey Marcus founded Onnit, a human performance company that has grown rapidly in recent years.
  • He wanted to have resources to tell different stories and bring communities together.
  • There was a focus on his own success, which he now sees as an egoic identity construct.
  • He was failing at first, but eventually found success through a combination of factors.
  • He had to run and explore, but also had to be ready to hold the bigness of his success.
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The Dark Side of Open Relationships

  • Aubrey Marcus has been in open relationships in the past, but now sees the potential downsides.
  • He believes that open relationships can be a way to avoid intimacy and vulnerability.
  • He also thinks that they can be a way to avoid dealing with one's own issues and insecurities.
  • He acknowledges that some people can make open relationships work, but it's not for everyone.
  • He now values monogamy and the deep connection that comes with it.
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The Benefits and Risks of Psychedelic Medicine

  • Aubrey Marcus has had many experiences with psychedelic medicine, including ayahuasca and psilocybin mushrooms.
  • He believes that these substances can be powerful tools for personal growth and healing.
  • However, he also acknowledges that they can be risky and should be approached with caution.
  • He recommends doing research and finding a reputable guide or facilitator before trying psychedelics.
  • He also believes that integration is key, meaning that one should take time to reflect and integrate the insights gained from a psychedelic experience.
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Building Onnit

  • Aubrey Marcus met Joe Rogan for coffee, which turned into a friendship and partnership.
  • With the help of his stepmother's knowledge of nutraceuticals, Aubrey formulated Alpha Brain, an all-natural nootropic.
  • Alpha Brain sold out in 12 hours and Onnit grew rapidly from there.
  • Onnit went from failing to being the Inc 500 fastest growing company in four years.
  • Annual revenue for Onnit leveled out around 60 million.
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Trials and Tribulations

  • Onnit faced trials and tribulations after reaching 60 million in annual revenue.
  • They had to navigate legal battles and deal with the loss of key team members.
  • Aubrey had to learn how to lead and manage a company through these challenges.
  • Onnit eventually got acquired by Unilever.
  • Aubrey reflects on the cost of success and the importance of taking care of oneself.
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Psychedelic Medicine

  • Aubrey discusses his experience with psychedelic medicine and how it has helped him in his personal growth and development.
  • He talks about the importance of set and setting when using psychedelics.
  • Aubrey believes that psychedelics can help people connect with their true selves and heal from past traumas.
  • He also acknowledges the potential risks and challenges of using psychedelics.
  • Aubrey emphasizes the importance of integrating psychedelic experiences into one's life and using them responsibly.
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Open Relationships

  • Aubrey talks about his experience with open relationships and how they have helped him grow and learn about himself.
  • He acknowledges the challenges and potential pitfalls of open relationships.
  • Aubrey believes that open relationships can work for some people, but they require a lot of communication, honesty, and self-awareness.
  • He emphasizes the importance of respecting boundaries and being mindful of one's own emotions and those of their partners.
  • Aubrey also acknowledges that open relationships are not for everyone and that monogamy can be a valid and fulfilling choice.
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Building Onnit and the Benefits of Success

  • Aubrey Marcus talks about the success of Onnit, which was eventually sold to Unilever in 2021.
  • Many people in his life received little pieces of the company, which turned into huge amounts of wealth.
  • Onnit's concept was total human optimization, which inspired people to be a little bit better tomorrow than they are today.
  • Despite living through his own little nightmares of fear, anxiety, worry, stress, and mistakes, Aubrey looks back on the experience as an absolute dream.
  • He emphasizes the importance of seeing the vision realistically and accurately, understanding the competition and challenges of the market, and going all in with focus and energy.
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The Role of Adversity in the Journey

  • Joe Rogan asks Aubrey about the role of adversity in the journey of building Onnit.
  • Aubrey acknowledges the importance of adversity and the challenges he faced along the way.
  • He believes that adversity is just as important as eventual achievement, but the media tends to focus more on the latter.
  • Seeing the vision and believing in it helps to overcome hurdles as they inevitably come.
  • Aubrey also mentions the importance of having a support system and community to help navigate the challenges.
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The Dark Side of Open Relationships

  • Aubrey discusses his experience with open relationships and the potential dark side of them.
  • He believes that open relationships can be a beautiful thing when done with honesty, integrity, and communication.
  • However, he also acknowledges that jealousy, insecurity, and fear can arise in these types of relationships.
  • Aubrey shares a personal story about a difficult experience he had in an open relationship and how it ultimately led to growth and self-discovery.
  • He emphasizes the importance of being honest with oneself and one's partner about boundaries, desires, and expectations in any type of relationship.
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The Benefits and Risks of Psychedelic Medicine

  • Aubrey talks about his experience with psychedelic medicine and the potential benefits and risks of it.
  • He believes that psychedelics can be a powerful tool for personal growth, healing, and spiritual exploration.
  • However, he also acknowledges that there are risks involved, such as the potential for a bad trip or triggering underlying mental health issues.
  • Aubrey emphasizes the importance of doing research, being in a safe and supportive environment, and working with a trained professional when using psychedelics.
  • He also believes that the stigma around psychedelics is slowly changing and that they have the potential to revolutionize mental health treatment.
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Dealing with Adversity

  • Success is important, but adversity is inevitable.
  • Adversity can come from unexpected sources, such as security breaches.
  • When faced with adversity, it's important to be guided by your values and principles.
  • Authenticity and honesty can be powerful tools in overcoming adversity.
  • Adversity can be a test of your ability to deal with the unexpected.
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Competitive Landscapes

  • Starting a business in a competitive landscape can be intimidating.
  • Being a little naive or delusional can be a driving force for entrepreneurs.
  • Competition is a key aspect of the capitalist model.
  • To succeed in a competitive landscape, you need to be a little bit better than everyone else.
  • Even with a better product, you will still face immense challenges.
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The Importance of Team and Culture

  • Building a successful business requires the right team and culture.
  • It's important to hire people who share your values and vision.
  • Creating a positive and supportive culture can help your team overcome challenges.
  • Leadership is about empowering your team and creating a shared sense of purpose.
  • Building a strong team and culture takes time and effort, but it's worth it in the long run.
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The Role of Psychedelic Medicine

  • Psychedelic medicine can be a powerful tool for personal growth and healing.
  • Psychedelics can help you see things from a different perspective and break through mental barriers.
  • Psychedelics can also be dangerous if not used responsibly.
  • It's important to approach psychedelic medicine with respect and caution.
  • Psychedelic medicine is not a magic bullet, but it can be a valuable tool for personal development.
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Surviving Cash Apocalypse

  • Accounts payable were piling up and there was no money in the bank.
  • The CFO walked out and said they were bankrupt in 30 days.
  • They made it through because of the relationships they had built with honesty and good faith.
  • They asked their suppliers to extend their terms from net 30 to net 60 or net 90 and they trusted them.
  • They paid their suppliers in four months for the products they were delivering.
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Not Returning to the Same Industry

  • Aubrey Marcus' desire is to be a visionary founder, not a CEO.
  • He is interested in guiding different projects and brands.
  • He may work with the former CEO of Onnit to put a few other brands back on the table.
  • He wants to do important things and apply the resources to great projects that can benefit everyone.
  • He is still in the game but at a different level.
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Going in Many Different Directions

  • Aubrey Marcus is working on a book and other planned books.
  • He is making media and documentaries and telling stories.
  • He has competent operators helping execute on all of his different visions.
  • He is at a level and purview where he can do a lot of different things.
  • He is delighted to announce that Whoop is sponsoring his podcast.
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Navigating Hard Times

  • Some people bail in the hardest times and aren't deserving of good moments.
  • Surviving hard times builds trust and relationships.
  • It is important to be honest and have good faith with everybody.
  • It is possible to make it through hard times with the help of competent operators.
  • There can be a reload and birth of a new wave of things.
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Relationships and Love

  • Joe Rogan talks about his journey with love and relationships, and how he learned his model of love and relationships very early in life.
  • He talks about how he was an avoidant in terms of his attachment style and how he would run from everyone that had any interest in him.
  • Joe Rogan talks about his current relationship, which he thinks is the most special thing he has ever experienced in his life.
  • Aubrey Marcus talks about his journey with love and relationships, and how he had a relationship with his former fiancée Caitlyn where they could bring other female lovers into their equation.
  • He talks about how this gave him a release valve to his desires, as he was bound by these feelings of value and this feeling of anybody who he was with was him living a different life.
  • Aubrey Marcus talks about how he cheated on his partner one time in his life and how he felt miserable after that experience.
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Open Relationships

  • Aubrey Marcus talks about how he had an open relationship with his former fiancée Caitlyn, where they could bring other female lovers into their equation.
  • He talks about how this gave him a release valve to his desires, as he was bound by these feelings of value and this feeling of anybody who he was with was him living a different life.
  • Aubrey Marcus talks about how he was still always searching for that and it wasn't quite right at that point for him.
  • He talks about how open relationships can be challenging and how it requires a lot of communication and honesty.
  • Aubrey Marcus talks about how he has learned a lot from his experiences with open relationships and how it has helped him to be more honest and authentic in his relationships.
  • He talks about how it has also helped him to be more accepting of other people's desires and needs in relationships.
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