Alex Hormozi: NO NEW FRIENDS (My “Extreme Views” on Friendship)

Last updated: Jun 18, 2023

The video is about Alex Hormozi's extreme views on friendship, where he sees friendship as a transactional relationship and values friends who root for him and help him achieve his long-term goals.

This video by Alex Hormozi was published on Jun 21, 2023.
Video length: 09:21.

 

In this video, Alex Hormozi shares his "extreme views" on friendship, which he describes as transactional.

He believes that friendships should be based on how much they help him achieve his long-term goals, and that friends who actively resent his success have no place in his life. Hormozi argues that investing time and energy into relationships that yield the highest returns in terms of exchange is the key to building the best networks.

He also suggests that pursuing one's dreams and goals often requires letting go of people who do not support the future version of oneself.

 

  • Alex sees friendship as a transactional relationship.
  • He values friends who root for him and help him achieve his long-term goals.
  • Alex believes that when faced between a hard thing and an easy thing, you should do the hard thing.
  • He thinks that pursuing your dreams and goals means that some people in your life right now will not support the future version of you that you need to become.
  • Alex believes that achieving his long-term goal is his most important thing.

NO NEW FRIENDS (My "Extreme Views" on Friendship) - YouTube

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Friendship as a Transactional Relationship

  • Alex sees friendship as a transactional relationship.
  • He values friends who root for him and help him achieve his long-term goals.
  • He doesn't see friendship as a binary term, but rather how good of friends are they.
  • He defines an enemy or a rival as someone who doesn't root for him and actively tries to destroy his efforts.
  • If someone resents him winning, they have earned a one-way ticket out of his friendship.
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The Importance of Friends Who Root for You

  • Alex values friends who root for him in front of him and behind his back.
  • He believes that as his status starts to raise within the group, he makes everyone else worse.
  • He thinks that some people project what they believe friendships should look like in their minds onto their relationship.
  • He believes that the pros of a relationship should outweigh the cons.
  • He invests time and energy into a relationship with the hopes of getting some sort of positive return.
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The Hard Thing vs. the Easy Thing

  • Alex believes that when faced between a hard thing and an easy thing, you should do the hard thing.
  • He thinks that pursuing your dreams and goals means that some people in your life right now will not support the future version of you that you need to become.
  • He believes that people don't actually want the best for you, but rather the version of you that best serves them now.
  • He thinks that the closer people are to you in terms of long-term alignment, the more likely those two versions of you will intersect.
  • He believes that family and spouse should be the most aligned with you because long-term their best interest is often aligned with your best interest.
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NO NEW FRIENDS (My "Extreme Views" on Friendship) - YouTube

The Importance of Achieving Long-Term Goals

  • Alex believes that achieving his long-term goal is his most important thing.
  • He thinks that if he achieves that goal, there would be a new level of friends who would unlock as he got to that new level.
  • He believes that his views might be more extreme than other people's because he is not trying to achieve a common life goal.
  • He thinks that some of his views become compounded when he has increasing demands for his time.
  • He believes that LeBron's "No New Friends" rule works for him because he has a rare life, and it would make sense that he has rare rules.
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Friendship as a Transactional Relationship

  • Friends are non-sexualized versions of the biggest and strongest ally you have.
  • Some friends will try to keep you where you're at by saying you've changed.
  • Accept friendships for what they are and understand that change is necessary for growth.
  • It's okay to have seasons of friends and to let go of friendships that no longer align with your vision for your life.
  • True help comes from someone who makes your life easier, not harder.
  • Surround yourself with people who are passionate about their craft and root for you to be the best you can be.
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Burning Bridges and Pruning Trees

  • Pruning a tree is necessary for growth, just like letting go of friendships that no longer align with your vision for your life.
  • Decreasing the frequency of communication with someone over time can lead to the friendship fizzling out.
  • Having hard conversations with friends is important, but it's crucial to keep the other person as a human being at the forefront of the conversation.
  • Accept responsibility for the fact that you've changed and that it's not on the other person.
  • It's okay to have friends who aren't necessarily pursuing greatness as long as they're helping you pursue yours.
  • Surround yourself with people who inspire you and make you better.

Watch the video on YouTube:
NO NEW FRIENDS (My "Extreme Views" on Friendship) - YouTube

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